Cut It Out of Me.

contemplation, do i blow my brains out now? or do i sit here and count all of my blessings? i want to scream. let me just cut my skin off. pealing it away layer by layer let me count all of the insults that got beneath it. all of the hurt, pain, sadness... let it flow from me with the blood. watch it drain as i lay there smiling. is this the end? or a peaceful beginning to a life i never knew? years of a tortured soul pouring out, you'd think it was an exorcism. can all of this pain really hide in one soul? how could it coexist with a child, just a mere child of god? it didn't and it never would... not peacefully that is. it tore at her insides, pulling her deeper into this god damned contemplation.