Certain Uncertainty

I'm too nervous to resurface, it's not that I'm worthless or don't want to work for this, my motive sits motionless. Can I bring it to your attention I need an intervention to save me from selfish behavior, a salvation of circumstances serving me chances to be my own saviour, challenging this circling hell that prances unnerving me a certain future of out of service hope and mischance where I can't sense my humour. I'm not stood with hands out looking for handouts, I just need that first time wind up to get the engine ticking and give reserves corrupt and vigorous in control of my mind a good kicking. It's as though I'm not the one that drives this life I ride, it's as though I'm not one with any drive, a life without pride, but I believe I can once again strive if I find my stride, I will breathe and bleed myself alive, I might be lost but I've not died.