Captain Macevoy and His Remarkable Dog

Captain MacEvoy Did hunt in corduroy But the zipping kept on tipping off the game. He never bagged a deer For they could plainly hear His trousers, loud and clear, as he took aim. He never understood, While hiding in the wood, How deer could tell whenever he was nearing. And they would jump for joy That Captain MacEvoy Was either daft or maybe hard of hearing. It always was the same: First he'd sight the game, Then he'd nock the arrow on the string. But when he drew the bow The game would up and go Before he could release the wretched thing. Not one who surrenders, He would wear suspenders To keep his corduroys from falling down For he was skin and bones, The advertising tones Having warned the prey for miles around Till, starving half to death, He put his bow to rest, Pursuing agriculture to survive. As a substitute For his lifelong pursuit, MacEvoy ate fruit to stay alive. Yes, tired of being tortured, The Captain bought an orchard With every fruit and berry known to man. But word soon got around Of the harvest to be found By every deer and hare throughout the land. MacEvoy, defeated, His skinny frame depleted, Was more than his companion dog could bear. Though God had designated The canine voice abated, The dog communicated, then and there: “Unlike a bow and arrow, Corduroy apparel Has no business being in the thicket. Perhaps a gabardine, Preferably in green, Silent and unseen would be the ticket.” As his companion coached, MacEvoy approached The dining deer that grazed there, unaware, And finally shot the menace So with a pint of Guinness The two of them ate venison and pear.