Broken

I can no longer hide the sadness with a smile I can no longer say "I'm fine" Because I'm not fine Like a tree in an empty forest, I fell and nobody heard Did I even make a sound? I can't explain what I'm feeling inside It's a bit of emptiness, self-loathing, anxiety, sadness, numbness, apathy, guilt over feeling this way when so many have it worse All mixed together Creating a storm of suffering I won't open up to anyone I know about this I won't burden them with my problems Because their happiness is more important than my mental health and well-being I'm worthless I've never been worth anything Maybe that's why nobody cares Maybe that's why the one person I told brushed it off I lie here, broken Trying to put my misery into words I can only describe it as a monster That attacks me again and again Taking away my happiness My enthusiasm My passion for life and everything I do I need help But I feel I don't deserve it I want to die So I use sleep as my escape from life I want to harm myself But I don't know how to do it inconspicuously I use sleep to temporarily escape from these emotions that grab hold of me I sit here, pouring out my feelings Hoping I'll get better Feeling like I never will Wondering if I'll ever be cured