Beer

This is the best beer I've ever had.  Yes, The best beer I've ever had.  No beer is really bad, but  This is the best beer I’ve ever had.   Beer’s invention was accidental I’m told.  Something about stored grain and mold.  Before the Sphinx, beer was made and sold;  And at times, more valuable than gold.   Drank my first beer while serving Uncle Sam. Got drunk on ‘33' in Saigon, Vietnam.  By 19, I was a soldier becoming a man;  So, I drank ‘til I didn’t give a damn.    Since then, I’ve travelled the world all around;  And tasted each brew that I’ve found.  Most are named for people, animals or towns;  And are glorious shades of gold, red or brown. There are pilsners, lagers and ales Swilled from bottles, cans, mugs…even pails. If you want to get drunk, you can’t fail. Drink too much, you may end up in jail.   Drank Stegmaier in old Scranton town.  Folks bragged it was the "best around“.  I tried their Golden, their Porter, their Brown;  And I must say, their judgement is sound.  In Ireland, the Guinness is Stout.  ‘Tis a brew those Micks can’t live without.  In the pubs, they all sing and shout;  Until, eventually, they're all drunken louts. In old Germany, there are too many to choose.  Every Berg and Stein make their own brews.  I tried each one on the Rhine river cruise.  So many to taste. How could I lose?  I enjoyed Sapporo in Tokyo, Japan; Served by a Geisha at the wave of my hand. The Singh Hai in Bangkok was grand, As was the Ninkasi in ancient Tehran. Tried a lager called Foster’s down under.  Drank too many. My head pounded like thunder.  They say Foster's once laid Dundee asunder;  But they love it… though you may wonder.   Enjoyed Red Stripe on Jamaican shores  And each one tasted like more.  A local beauty I was hoping to score;  But next morning, my head was so sore.    Henry Hudson’s serves Budweiser Light. It’s weak, so you can drink it all night. Yes, it takes quite a bit to get “tight”; But it’s cheap and that makes it alright.    Yes, beer is a beverage so grand,  One of God's greatest gifts to man.  When life gets too tough to stand,   Just open a chilled bottle or can.  This is the best beer I’ve ever had.  When I arrived I was down and quite sad;  After just two or three, life isn't so bad.  This is the best beer I’ve ever had.    Yes, the best beer I've ever had.