Ballad of Local Diner Tune of Davey Crockett

Open everyday, at the crack of dawn, Servin’ eggs and bacon, til there gone, Pots of coffee, with lots of cream, Dealin’ with the “help”, makes ya wanna scream. Lo - cal, Lo- cal Diner, Best lil’ place in town. Now there’s janet, the bosses daughter, Sometime she heps, by bringin’ ya water, Runs the show, when Frank aint around, Cross her path, and you’re goin’ down. Lo - cal, Lo - cal Diner, Best mind ya Ps and Qs.. Kelly has a secret, we all know, Passed on to us, by another jo, That aint all, but it’ll do for now, Come on down, and enjoy the chow. Lo - cal, Lo - cal Diner, Your secret get around. There’s a lil’ blonde, works here too, Straight short hair, and eyes of blue, Probably lives close, just about a mile, The tips she’d get, if she’d just smile. Lo - cal, Lo - cal Diner, We pull no punches here. Now the patrons sumptin’, ya gotta know, Comin’ for breakfast, whether rain or snow, They come here to eat, nothing’ else ‘round, Day old biscuits, just throw’em on the ground. Lo - cal, Lo - cal Diner, A critic in e’er booth. Billy and Keith, then there’s me, If ya can count, that makes three, All very different, as you can see, Keith’s the only one who set his hair free, Lo - cal, Lo - cal Diner, I’m not far behind Keith. If that wasn’t funny, read a little bit, Billy hasa tic, ya can’t miss it, Tappin’ his fingers, on the table top, It drives me crazy, but he still won’t stop. Lo - cal, Lo - cal Diner, Billy just taps and grins. Well here comes Frank, Sunday at nine, “Please Wait To Be Seated”, silly ole sign, Just seat yourself, when he is around, His innuendo’s, will put you down, Lo - cal, Lo - cal Diner, Ya don’t wanna be a “Frank”.