Axioms

“Birds of a feather, flock together” They also do other things as a group Like pooping on your brand new bonnet At times they'll even poop in your soup “Laughter is always the best medicine” Not so if you have a runny nose You'll get that green stuff all over the face You might even get some on your toes “Sleep tight, don't let the bugs bite” Those nasty little critters are pests Sleeping tight sure ain't gonna stop 'em From chomping on your tender pink flesh “You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear What an absolutely disgusting concept At least you could wait till the pig's deceased 'Cause I'm sure the damn thing would object “Keep a stiff upper lip, my dear old chap” It'll stop you from saying certain words Like “honeyfuggle” or “snollygoster” But you can still utter “dirty turds” “One man's junk is another man's treasure” Let's try to be realistic here If you treasure a broken down piece of junk Then you're welcome to it, my dear “Good things come to those who wait” Especially if you're waiting to sprinkle If you cross your legs and sing “Hey Jude” It'll seem like no time till you tinkle! Honeyfuggle: Deceive by flattery or sweet-talk, swindle or cheat Snollygoster: A shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician