Argh I Suffer the Plight of Bad Hair Year In One Day

just moments ago, i went online and tapped Google if some miraculous spell could be drawn out of thin air cause (this house husband feels a bit embarrassed to divulge), but at present, the will to live aye cannot bear cuz after an ample lather of soap and shampoo, ah pronounced heady effect became immediately clear where times gone by (even as late as early January tooth how sand and eighteen), the strands clumped, glommed, and matted together as sieve ma noggin got sat upon by a deer no matter after shaking head banging fashion (imagine rock stars of yore whipping their wild locks) from ear to e'er butta noah such dizzy inducing antics resulted in absolutely no fluffiness, hence my worse fear (irrational?) yes, an obsession i.e. thy hirsute outgrowth fixation dated back tummy boyhood when cranky gear and defective cogs somehow impacted preoccupation concerning every singular follicle fostering hair strand, but during prepubescence, this now grown man took a fancy to this, that, or the other lad, who sported a style envied yours truly, hie wished said thatch tubby upon mine ma lil oblate spheroid, and pleaded (weathered and in vane) with fate to make magically ap pear this, tis minuscule wiggle room to muster support from rear guard, hook offer me wiggle room asthma body electric goes on a manic tear precious seconds ticking closer to the final count down where this mwm might remain bed ridden for an entire year.