Another Attempt To Conjecture How I Came Tubby Me

This aggrieved papa of two progeny, (female) holed himself in a rigorously fortified fail safe impregnable invisible monastery barely room enough to exhale decades before their conception, when I hapt tubby more hearty and hale, though robust health a blessing - this haint no rumored tattletail inherited, aye oft womb min eight if my embryonic stage awaken as exultantly as Faneuil Hall if late mull late mum's maternal instincts intuited detail... when during early/mid April mcmlviii microscale, and if reproductive event (me) swelled her morale inevitably genetics sported yours truly, she did not put up for sale though mentioned bajillion times before, the psychological travail inchoate grievous tell tale manifestation begetting a male, whose neurological wiring besmirched - evidenced in throes of boyhood, a jail assembled incrementally indestructible dogging paw pa, per entail ling faux mutt heave puppyhood bone a fide speculation assail lent ruff lee size biochemical cell cuz, ladder post utero development exhibited tight as coiled spring hightail ling ordinary bipedal locomotion, whereat tenseness supposedly prevail lent to tumble down stairs fail ling balance even with handrail explains being somewhat of a numbskull, where existence analogous to wail ling human flotsam - buoy lost at sea rudderless and undermanned, thus such speculation I avail.