An Ode To Little Debbie

Oh Goddess, Little Debbie, Queen of all Saturated Fat, Sometime of Swiss, which is called Roll, Now of the delightful Court of Nutty Bars, I respectfully esteem your Zebra Cakes, I salute your Cosmic Brownies And I kiss your empty boxes of Oatmeal Crème Pies. It can’t be, Oh Goddess, The tasty chomps of your Honey Buns, Nor that of your delicious and calorie-laden Donut Sticks, Which causes me now to wear plus sizes. But since this is your respectful tribute, Oh Goddess, It seems appropriate to me to proclaim According to a greedy and overeating custom, That I complete one roll of your Powdered Donuts. Your face, Oh Goddess, Is so adored that I placed a lovely tattoo On each layer of my 4-layer belly, Such as a memorial Or the obsession Or my adulation. It is like the cow coming through chocolate-covered grass, Yet a bit different, For the grass is not chocolate-covered, Only carpet and I am the cow. Loving you, Oh Goddess, I love all of your consequences; But I imagine That even if I did not love you I would love the sweetness of even your crumbs, And my fatness, shaped in the honor of all your snacks. ALL HAIL LITTLE DEBBIE! :-)