A ghost is inside of you

When events came by like marriages or events, I let my family wait and hushed into the bath to take off my pants, Cleaned my face with the cleanser pats, Left even the the loose paper, soak in the wet footprints, my Cash. Head for every two days, my hair touched better or worse; depends of how well the shampoo pays. Brushed my teeth and didn't drink or eat anymore at night then, they couldn't face. But ever my bad had a blanket of an other too. Said I didn't need one but freezed like a snowman too. She's skinny so she is cold, I am bigger so I must be warm, Words played Tennis back then saying easily: "you are ugly'' or "you must be sick" She gets most attention doesn't she? She wears the best fits doesn't she? Can buy make up whenever she wants doesn't she? Make her hair doesn't she? Definetly it wasn't true and I knew that. It wasn't jelousy but always when she awoken I had a Spot with her I view where we sat. Since there were interests we shared, Drama we talked, She still was a sibling of mine. The half of my brain. The half of my body, my eye, my hair I would lend her. But night makes them horrible. People makes them horrible. Because I stink know. I don't wash that often and don't care what I wear or put on my face. That is what I am crying about. Because I once did. I never loved myself anyways. That's the worst love people can remain. Or Lose. "Can we eat together? Shall we?", than I can weighten, How much I must eat or not since she's older. Even though it contributes with Hunger.