A Fate Worse Than Death

A maniac has kidnapped me and he's holding a gun to my head. He's forcing me to watch the new Doctor Who but I'd rather be dead. I can't stand the new Doctor Who TV show, why is he doing this to me? This is a fate worse than death, I want him to put me out of my misery. I can't stand the political correctness of the new Doctor Who. I'm begging him to pull the trigger, that would be the kinder thing to do. I like the new Doctor Who as much as Jerry Seinfeld likes Newman. Forcing me to watch these episodes is cruel, it's positively inhuman. If I watch much more of the new Doctor Who, I swear I'll be driven insane. I can't believe what this psycho is doing to me, how can he be so inhumane? I loved the classic Doctor Who but forcing me to watch the new is sick behavior. I want him to pull the trigger and end my life, he would be doing me a favor.