A Red Neck Xmas

'Twas close to the day when Buba Claus, His red nose and Bowie knife shining, Would be off to fill the manly's hearths, With bacon for their frying. The ground was bare of snow or ice, The sky was clear of reindeer. But Buba Claus was loading his sleigh, Real high, with good stout Yule beer? Buba Claus was out in force, His NRA cronies in tow, To fill naughty radicals stockings, With tiny bits of coal. Cigars dangled from their lips, A spittoon he placed by their feet, And, before the sleigh rose off the ground; They tossed in another side of beef. Each carnivore, they laughingly swore; Would have their fill this year, And Bambi blanched as He flew by, While Teddy Bears ran in fear! Over New Canaan His courses flew, Past the homes of vegetarians; And down their chimneys they did toss; The views of Libertarians! (gasp) And when the last haunch was placed, Upon the spits of the mighty, His spat his cud of gnarly gum, Into the spittoon real tidy! Then he flew off with a Ho, Ho, Ho, And, not the ones for plowing (wink) Cause Buba Claus had his own ideas Of all Santa's sissy endowings!