1-800-Not My Fault

When life's not going right Guess you could say it's going wrong Do what it is I always do Pick up the telephone Dial my favorite number They've never steered me wrong Of course that number is 1-800-Not My Fault In any situation At any given time #1 on my speed dial Connects me directly to their line I seem to call it often Not giving it much thought My fingers know just where to go 1-800-Not My Fault Missed your anniversary? Or the twins Bar Mitzvah? To avoid all the yelling and crying Do it out of love Remember this time around You won't be doing it for naught So pick up the telephone 1-800-Not My Fault Cooking in the kitchen You set the house on fire The one time you do laundry You throw your wife's tight jeans in the dryer Fired from your job a month ago For a month you've been hiding that with lies Just so it is you don't get caught...dial 1-800-Not My Fault So my friend remember this number If your ever in a jam Just excuse yourself a moment Dial as fast as your fingers can Age it does not matter Neither being a woman, child, or man No need to be distraught Come on now...you know the number 1-800-Not My Fault