The Hidden Life: Chapter Four Hidden Crush
Most of November nothing happened other then test after test in all my classes. I even had a test in study hall. It was a take home test from math. Blaste even gave us a whole freaking chapter in our books on top of the test. I spent most of the weekend with J.G studying at his place becasuse someone needs to make sure his sister doesn't burn down the house or something. Between us J.G and I could use all the help we can get. We are bad at math together we can get B's if we actaully study. Jesse should be studying with us but he has been trying to find anything that he can about his bio dad Jimmy. He isn't going to give up on finding the guy until he sees who Jimmy is. We Rosemens are stubborn and don't give up on what we want. All Jesse has is an old picture from 16 years ago not a lot to go on.
"So tell me why don't we take a break for a while from math?" J.G said closing his book and standing up. I close my book and started looking for the tv remote. We looked for a while trying not to wake his dog on the sofa. The dog hates everyone but J.G and maybe Mr. Lights at times when he has food scraps. They over feed the dog most days of the week. "Pugsley move please. Come on boy move now." J.G tried to get the fat little dog off the sofa. All Pugsley did was yawned and rolled over and went back to sleep. "I give up let's give up and go back to our math work. Don't want to piss off Blaste even though it's so fun. I walk around the coffee table and sit back down to what i thought was my book. I flipped it to our chapter and saw a letter from someone named E.
Dear Jethro George I loved our date the other night. please go out with me again.
E.
ps. you are an amazing kisser.
When i was done reading it J.G tried to get it from me but i put it back into his book instead. "So who is E and what date did you go on? No wait is it Ellen,Erin,Emily or Erica? Come on J.G or Jethro George tell me. I'll be your best friend forever." J.G took his book from me rolling his eyes at taking his book from me. "Ok I'll tell you who E is just don't freak out ok." He sat down next to me trying to think of how to say it. "I'm not Angel ok I can handle it whatever it is. Just tell me ok." J.G let out a loud sigh in defeat and looked at me. "I went on a date with Eric Tolsemen. Meredith I"m gay. I like guys. And before you say anything I just hope you understand why I never told you before." J.G said all in a rush trying to keep himself from stopping. I put my arm around his shoulder. "Just do me a fav don't go after Jack. I know he is hot but he is mine." J.G laughed a little clearing his throat. "As if i would dare to take your guy Mere' you wouldn't even share your cookies with me in the 1st grade." Needless to say we never brought up what we were again really after that. Spent most of the time trying to finish our work in time to watch a marathon of the Twilight zone. We only got B's on our tests when we got our grades back.
On the fallowing Monday I"m wondering around the hallway with Jack without a pas. “So you want to help me fix an old man’s jeep after school honey?” Jack asks me sweetly. I look up at him. “I’m not sure I can I have to do eight chapters of bio before Friday’s exam. You know how Aldean is.” Jack looks at me with sad eyes. It’s hard to say no to them but I have to. “Come on Mer’. Please? It isn’t fun fixing things without you.” I roll my eyes at him. “Who is the old guy whose car you are fixing?” With that he smiled and kissed my head. I can tell he wanted to talk about it. “Mr.Whitemore the old jackass two streets over…” At this point I feel free enough to zoom off while he rants about the old guy who yells at everyone that gets on his land. (The type where if you kicked/thrown a ball or whatever into his yarn he kept it.) I look around and notice the new girl trying to get into her locker and dropping her books in the progress. She gets down on her knees and picks them up. “You remember that Mere’? Mere’? Meredith earth to Meredith Rosemen Come in Meredith Rosemen?” I snap out of it and look at him. “Yeah, yeah sure honey I’ll get right on it. Why don’t you get started and I’ll catch up.”
I walk away and go to the new girl. “Either you need help or your locker hates you.” I say with a smile. She put her blond hair behind her ears and smiled at me. “A little of both. I can’t get my locker to open and my books keep falling. Can you help please?” She talked with a little southern twang. “Sure but don’t tell anyone I was nice people might start thinking I’m behaving myself for once.” She smiled again. I got lost in her bright blue eyes for a second and said: “Your locker combo?” She dug through her bag and found the paper it was written on. “6, 7, 18” She put her hand on my arm. I look down at it and she took her hand off of my arm. “Six to the left seven to the right and eighteen to the left.” It opened with ease for me. She smiled a flirty smile to me again. “How rude of me I forgot to tell you my name. I’m Arianna Graceson. And you are…?” I look at her eyes trying to figure out if her eyes are sky or baby blue. “Meredith Rosemen or the locker whisper." I said trying to smile that won’t make her think anything was going on. We go on and talk for a ten minute time. With every other minute she got closer to me. (Mind you she is not even a half a foot from me.)
Before I can think of a way to say goodbye without hurting her she kisses me. I try to stop it for a minute and then kissed her back pulling her close to me. For some reason i forget that i'm going to marry Jack or even know who Jack is. Later on while driving Jesse home we were talking about our homework we got from Aldean.(Jesse is super smart in science taking grade 12 classes in it and math.) “I don’t want to beat around the bush anymore Meredith. I saw you and that girl kissing around noon today.” When he said that I hit my brakes hard as I can. “You saw that? Jesse it’s not what you think.” Jesse looked at me. “What about Jack? Meredith this is going to hurt him.” I hear horns going off. “I know it will but you can’t tell him or anyone.” Jesse looks at me again. “I won’t but sooner or later you will have to. Before someone gets hurt.” I start driving again so the horns will stop honking at me. “I know jes’’ but I don’t know why I even did it. I love Jack like crazy you know that. But…. I don’t know. I will tell someone soon I just got to figure out what is going on first. Okay?” I can tell Jesse is thinking of something to say. “I’ll give you until the end of the school year to tell if you don’t by then I will.”
All through dinner that night I watch Jesse making sure he kept what he knew to himself. Hopefully he doesn’t tell his dog. I know dogs can’t talk but I don’t’ want to risk it. I don’t even want to think about Arianna. After dinner I’m going to Jack’s maybe I could stop thinking of how she laughed or the way she smelled of wild cherries blossoms.Around ten thirty I left the house. I snuck out. I go down the stairs without my shoes and head for the back door. Since Jack is about two blocks from me I walk there. I take the back way cause mom and dad’s window only faces the front. They weren’t thinking when they took that room. (They should have one of them at each door of the house.) I have Jack’s spear leather jacket on. He has about four of them. I get to the back door of the McKinney house which is in Jack’s bedroom. I knock softly on the door so only Jack will hear. The door opens so I can see Jack in just his boxers. Before he says anything I jump in the room and kiss him long and hard. He stops me for a second. “Wow where did that come from Mere’?” I kiss him again while pushing him to his bed. I push him down on to it. "Don't talk just kiss me ok Jack. I want to just be with you." I took off his jacket then lay on top of him to kiss him more. "Are you sure Mere'? I'll be happy to wait as long as you want." "Yes i'm sure just let's be together." That is all that I remember of that night the next thing I knew it was the next day.
It’s a school day. I jump out of bed and threw on some clothes. I run home hoping no one is up yet. If they are then I’ll say I was walking around the block early. "I needed to get some air and started working out so i can get ready for my soon to be wedding." I said to myself trying to think of a lie to tell my family. I smoke on the way there to really clear my mind of what I just done. I slept with Jack for the first time since we have been dating. I thought it would be perfect you know the way it always is when a girl gives her virginity to the man she loves. The kind that makes great stories but in real life it makes the girl think what have I done? Holly shit I just had sex with Jack and I might be in love with a girl! Now I’m even more screwed than I was a month ago. I get home and no one is in the kitchen. I run to my room to grab clothes to jump in the shower before Maddie. In my rush I run into dad. “Opps dad sorry I’m trying to get in before little miss perfect does.” Dad looks me up and down for a minute. “There is something different about you Meredith Anne what is it?” Oh my god can he tell that I’m not a virgin anymore. No that is crazy no one can tell that about anyone not even doctors. Right? “Nothing is different dad unless I don’t get in the shower now I’ll be known as the smelly girl. I don’t think you want to be smelly girl’s dad do you?” He plugged his nose to goof on me. “You are right Meredith you do smell.” I fake laugh at him. I get in before daddy’s little girl gets in. I jump in the shower and out with in ten minutes even with shaving my legs and under arms. I know I should have last night before… Well you know. (I wasn't thinking at all dumb teenage mistake.)
I get to school while smoking a whole pack of smokes I’m freaking out. I’m thinking please blue eye girl don’t talk to me please. Jack came up to me to steal a kiss but all he got was my ear in his mouth. “Last night was wow. Are you sure you were a virgin before last night babe?” I’m too busy to listen to Jack’s question. I turn around when I was Arianna walking toward us I started kissing Jack like I was ready for round two of finishing off my virginity. All through school I couldn’t think at all. Every time I tried to think it would end up as how can I hurt Jack like that or that girl’s face will pop up. I just hope if I help Jesse he’ll keep his mouth shut. When I got home i smelled the scent of apple cider and cookies coming from the kitchen. I drop my bag by the door and fallowed the smell and see my mom taking oatmeal cookies out of the oven. "Oh hey honey how was your day? School was good right learn anything good?" I sit on the stool that off the side of the island. "Okay who are you and what have you done to my mother? The banker and runner of the house chaser of Klaus to get off the sofa." My mom put some cookies on the tray and poured some apple cider in a mug for me. "I got home early from work and felt like making cookies and apple cider it's the season for it. And i thought we can talk about some things." (Ok Meredith if dad couldn't tell mom can't either right? But then again mom's are knowing of everything.) "I know that when Jack asked you to marry him you were freaked out by it. Taken by suprise we were too when he asked for our blissing. Truth be told I was freaked out when your father asked me to marry him and I was a bite older then you are. If you don't want to go through with marrying Jack all you have to do is say so. Just take your time ok honey."
Thanksgiving is next week and we don’t get much of a break for it hell we don’t even get a break. Most schools get the whole weekend off but we don’t. We have to go back to school the next day even though our loving principal skips to go and shops for her family. (Like anyone would want to be part of her family other then her brother.) I think it's lame why not just make us go to school on the holidays but I’m sure the school board will have something to say about it. I’m surprised that the mothers and fathers haven’t said anything or even the grandma’s and grandpa's haven’t but if it means more time in the summer for off the better.
The more time it gives us kids bug our families until the send us to camp. After grade eight I didn’t want to go to camp anymore. My father and mother sent me to math camp all the time hoping that I would start liking it but I didn’t. After a nerd tried to hit on me during a lunch with the camp across the lake. It was the other math camp the a.p of math camps. That camp cost more and dad didn’t want to spend that much on his first daughter at all. But he spent most if not all of his money on Maddie’s camp of choice which was a fashion camp which all they taught you to do is how to max out a card with in two seconds having one. All week I try not to think or talk to Arianna at all but she tried to talk to me at lunch while I was with Jack but I acted like I couldn’t hear her.
It worked until Jack said something to me about it. “Aren’t you going to talk to her Mere’?” I shock my head no. “She is weird I helped her once with her locker and now she won’t leave me alone at all.” Jack laughed “So my soon to be wife has a stalker who is a girl. That is hot.” I gently push him away from me. We both laughed at that fact. (In my head i think why doesn't Franklin the school cop do something about her.)
I tried to get Jack allowed over for Thanksgiving dinner but both families said no. My grandma Rosemen is coming this year along with my grandfather Mereks. On Saturday night I went to be early or early for me anyway. I went to sleep at nine forty-five. I had the weirdest dream ever I can still remember it and it has been years. The dream took me back to 2005 when Jack and I met in detention. I had detention reasons I don’t remember. Instead of me giving you little taste of it I’ll just give it all to you so you can stop asking how we met. I was in detention with Blaste for reasons don’t remember. A jock came in which is unheard of at all. Jocks don’t get detention cause it might screw up their time working out or popping pills in so they will have big muscles and little well you know. The jock sits next time me for some reason. He even has his Red Brickfield High School jacket on. (What a show off) I get back to do doing my homework for my afternoon classes. A note drops on to my desk it’s from the jock.
“Hey what did you get busted for?” I roll my eyes at him. I write a note back and throw it at him. “I got busted for killing a football player because he was bugging me while I was doing my homework. Oh wait that is why I’m going to be in here tomorrow for. My bad.”The dumb jock laughed at it. He must think I’m joking. He really is bugging me. The jock writes back to me.
“So you have plans after this?” He drops the note back to my desk. I turn my head to face him. Then I did my famous eye roll at him. I write back to him telling him of my plans. “I’m going to try to find a place to bury a body of a five foot ten inch man. Know a place?” He laughs again. Then writes back trying to be funny like he thinks I can’t do such a thing to such a dumb person. The jock’s name is J. McKinney I have seen him around with Starla Scrubbs so that means he must have aids from her or something. He writes back this. “I’m five foot nine. You should try to hide the body in Brooklyn. No one will look there.”
The note passing went on all through detention until Blaste let us out at four. I got out of the building and ran to my truck that dad just got me. I jumped in and started the truck but it rattled very loudly. The jock named J.McKinney asked me to pop the hood. I did in hope of hitting him in the head. “I’m Jack McKinney or that football player you want to kill and bury in Brooklyn.” I see his eyes locking with mine for a minute. His eyes are mint green very nice looking. It’s hard to look away from them. He fixes whatever it was making the noise. (As Jack said it was something loose that was knocking against something in the truck. If I didn’t get it fixed when he did I would have to kiss my blue boy goodbye.)
“Since I fixed your truck you don’t have to kill me anymore my lady killer.” I give him think again look. “I’m Meredith Rosemen and just because you fixed my truck doesn’t mean that I still won’t kill you for bugging me. But it does save me a trip to Brooklyn.” Jack and I get closer to one another. Too close I can smell his aftershave. It’s a nice smell. (It’s not the cheap crap that most guys wear in high school. The smell of sandwood and a little bite of something i can't figure out.) When I was thinking of ways to run him over with my truck trying to make it look like I didn’t mean to; he kissed me. Right on the mouth he kissed me. I kissed him back with more passion.
When I opened my eyes it was a girl I’m kissing instead of Jack. The girl who I just met the one whose eye color is either sky blue or baby blue. She is kissing me. I wake up screaming freaked out that was my first gay dream. (And I liked it.) I can’t wrap my head around it fast enough. “Are you okay honey?” my mom yells up the stairs. I look around and sure enough I’m in my room sitting up in my bed. “I’m fine mom.” It’s too late she is at my door. She is wearing a housecoat and her hair is up in curlers. It’s the first time she looks normal something she doesn’t wear around anyone important. “Why did you scream like that for?” She asks trying to sound like she cares. “It was just a nightmare and nothing else. Don’t worry. I’m just the middle child the one you have to not listen to. You have a want be surf bum and prissy brat do deal with. Yeah just worry about them.” My mom rolls her eyes at me.
It’s nice to know that is where I get it from. It’s real reassuring to know I’m some of mom but as for dad I’ll have to see that for myself. “Fine be a smart mouth all you want but to warn you dad is cooking french toast or trying to. Don’t worry I’ll help him not to screw it up that much.” We both laughed at the fact dad can’t cook at all. (We beg him not to cook to stick to the books and money. I’m surprised that mom even lets him even in the kitchen.) She left my room after I told her another ten times I’m fine. I cleaned my room some to get the clothes off the floor. I’m sure my mom and dad would love that.
Thanksgiving wasn’t a big thing this year grandpa David kept getting calls from my aunt it turns out she wants to move back home. I love my aunt really but for being a New Yorker she is a cry baby. Klaus got some table food and sat under the table waiting for someone to drop something for him. It was all the family who gave him this or that. I’m sure Jesse will put him on a diet after Christmas he is going to need it. (Klaus is already kind of a fat puppy to start with.) He needs to go on a run or something soon. Maybe I can get Maddie to run around the yard and Klaus can chase her.
Even though we had school on Black Friday (Lamberg doesn’t believe in extra days for holidays. Soon as it is over we have to go back to school.) mom called in telling them we are sick from over cooked bird. Which was not true but we got to spend more time with our grandpa for the weekend and did our Christmas shopping early the only person I didn’t shop for was mom. I’m planning to make a box for her to put her rings in. I’m going to put her name on it and paint then glosses it. I’m sure she’ll love it. I even got something for Klaus. (He might be a dog but even he likes stuff like toys.)
But maybe I should get him a tread mile instead so he can work off the food. All weekend long my grandpa tried to get Matt Jr, dad and Jesse to go fishing with him before he went home. He thought us girls could take care of the house while they were away. Grandpa is stuck in the 50’s were women was chained to the kitchen all day long. If he isn’t in the bathroom or fishing he is in the living room watching old shows like the Monsters and the Addams Family. I even watch the Addams family with him. (Those old shows are kind of cool and funny.)
He used to get me and Wednesday confused when I was a kid. I always wore my hair in braided pigtails. If only if I had the black dress back then. But mom told me not to mess with him like that we don’t want him to go crazy or anything. My mom and dad talked about putting him in a home once or twice when I was growing up. But grandpa didn’t want to cause he thought we didn’t love him at all. Klaus loved grandpa they sat and watched the weather channel together every time there was a report of a storm of any kind Klaus would bark and grandpa thought that a war was going on outside.
Maybe my mom and dad was right maybe we should put him in a home or something. Grandma Julie is amazing she took my sister and me shopping we asked mom if she want to come but she had stuff in the house to do. (Grandma Juile and Maddie dragged me into a bride shop to look at dresses for me. Or should I say I was looking for me Maddie was looking at them for herself.) It’s the first time Jesse got to really get to know Grandma Julie since he lived in the south all his life. Plus Grandma kept wanting to look at the ring Jack gave me for some reason. She even camparied it to her ring a couple times.
We called Aunt Emily to come up too but Eddie said no cause they are busy with a case of his. Jesse said that was just b.s he just didn’t want to come because he might get bite by Klaus. Every time someone said the name Eddie Klaus would bark and hide behind Jesse.
He must really hate him. I don’t blame him if I was hurt by the guy I would hate him too. For most of the visit my grandpa and grandma fought about stupid things like what is the best TV show or whatever else old people fight about. Grandma Julie thinks I should cut my hair short cause it would like cute. She has been trying to get her hands on it since I was born. When will they learn to leave me be? It's my hair and my problem if i wanted my hair short I would have cut by now. My mom told me never let grandma cut my hair because once she gets her way she'll never stop at it. I guess mom is right grandma did get her way on some things. Like our kitchen and dinning room.
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