Take a message to Michael
Another challenge for resident polymath not me, but concerned thee missus, whose name I cannot mention in mixed company, she prefers to humble herself to anonymity.
Though modest and confident, and as an aside able to sweet talk her way out of unexpected win/win crisis resolution, (which natural born talent to finesse confrontations, especially arising when strong arm of the law unexpectedly presents an unsettling quandary, her chutzpah called into action), whether pedestrian circumstances to sew as a swift tailor and to the uninitiated said spouse evinces a harried style.
We patronize Michaels (which craft of thee wife) even applied to her mock up as a pseudo surgeon, I can attest being stitched up tight as a drum courtesy tough as steel thread after slamming the trunk door on the pinky of my right hand.
After we went shopping at Wegmans husbandly duty (and contractual non binding obligations) witness yours truly packing groceries in the trunk of (technically mine) car, a white 2020 Hyundai Elantra, yours truly absent mindedly found the pinkie of his dominant hand left dangling by a thread after I slammed trunk (North American English) or boot (British English) on said fifth digit in medicine, recognized as the most ulnar and usually smallest finger of the human hand, opposite the thumb, next to the ring finger.
The emergency medical kit kept in the glove compartment of our vehicle rightly came in (pun intended) handy for just such a crisis, whereby with tender loving care issued from the wife who quickly sprung to action and whipped out her trusted implements of the trade.
Yours truly (me) bit the figurative bullet when my own Florence Nightingale ably, eagerly, readily and willingly gently took hold of my damaged digit and (without applying any anesthesia) gingerly pushed the nib of a medium sized sewing needle attached with flesh colored thread into the dangling darn little finger of mine. Among the requisite material, she retrieved a perfectly fitting splint, and finally wrapped the injured bad finger with an adhesive gauze.
The entire operation transpired while (sharp pain throbbed, pulsed, and needled throughout my entire right arm), I manned the vehicle with my left hand just barely avoiding one collision after another, yet could outgun police.
In an effort to head back to our one bedroom apartment in Schwenksville, an inadvertent heavy footed proclivity arose, whereby my skinny right leg pressed a tad to strong upon the accelerator, (excessive miles per hour speedometer considerably over the speed limit), but lame excuse of mine promptly dismissed, when stopped by an aggressive macho officer nervously explaining, jabbering, and orating away that every other driver appeared to be passing me left and right. Reasonable explanation immediately regarded as no dice, which compelled saving amazing grace angel in disguise to exit the passenger side of our automobile and brazenly embellished a spur of the moment cockamamie story, that beloved, fawned over, nursed back to health hirsute husband - gratis mother of invention wife, he unexpedly experienced feeling severely uncomfortably numb exhibiting a deathly (hallowed) pallor closely approximating rigor mortis, thus while self taught nurse satisfactorily bandaging a nearly severed littlest phalange of poor hubby, said twenty four hour attendant (and lifelong contra dance partner) oblivious to his sudden paroxysm completely disabling cognitive abilities.
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