Max the Saint Bernard Speaks
"Has the subject been prepared?" The African American scientist, Dr. Ronald McCray, and short man in his late sixties, said to his East Asian assistant as he checked and calibrated the Canine Language Translation Computer, or CLTC for short.
The subject? A Saint Bernard rescue dog, whom they had named Max. He had been strapped to a high-backed, black-leather chair atop an elevated platform. The purpose? To understand dogs better. You see, Max had displayed unusually intelligent behavior for a dog. He seemed to understand things dogs were not supposed to, and sometimes seemed to actually talk instead of bark, keen or yelp. So after transporting him to a secret research facility, his brain had been neurally connected to a computer capable of translating dog sounds into English via both auditory and a visual display. There was much excitement among the humans present since being the first, no one really knew what to expect.
"Yes, Max is ready." the young, East Asian-American assistant responded, while slowly and carefully modulating the machinery to the required specifications. Once accomplished, the laboratory lights gradually dimmed from the power-surge, and a soft, steady hum filled the room, as those who were present tensely waited.
Of course, since dogs expressed themselves vocally only occasionally, a vocal response would need to be provoked. To facilitate it, electrodes had been fitted to Max's paws so that electrical shocks could be delivered as needed.
At first, only the usual nondescript typical growlings, barks, whimpers, yelps and howling had been heard. But gradually, as the computer meticulously compensated for irrelevant anomalies, an understandable message began to be heard and displayed on the screen positioned above Max's head.
"You are hurting me! Why?" Max was heard to say in a deep, growl-like voice.
There was a immediate hush from those present as Max's once-childlike, canine eyes suddenly began conveying a keen comprehension, or humanlike awareness of the situation he was in, along with all its subtle implications.
Finally, after recovering from the initial shock, which sent him backpedalling against the wall, Dr. McCray nervously responded:
"Ahah! So you can reason after all!" the scientist said, desperately striving to sound as casual as he possibly could.
"You have our sincerest apologies for the inconveniences, Max. We needed to prod for a response since your kind sometimes prefers silence, and time is precious. Do you understand"
Max slowly nodded his massive Saint Bernard head to indicate that he did indeed fully understand.
"Good! Very good Max!" Dr. McCray nervously responded.
"We are glad that we can finally communicate on equal terms. But of course, there is something very crucial that now needs to be explained. Something that baffles us humans now that your real intellectual nature has been discovered Max. You see, the question in need of an answer to is why have you canines perpetrated such an elaborate deceit for all these thousands of years? I mean, why not reveal yourselves as you really are immediately?"
Max pondered only a few seconds before responding.
"Because when there is absolutely no need to communicate-then absolute silence is best." Max the Saint Bernard, responded cryptically.
"Yes! Of course! Of course! Very logical indeed Max." Ronald McCray the scientist said as nonchalantly as possible while briskly wiping away the perspiration from his face, while attempting to steady his quivering voice.
"However, the question still remains," he quickly added, "Why did your canine kind choose to hide behind a façade of intellectual inferiority for all these years? You know, cunningly leading us to believe that you were only capable of yelps, whimpers, howls and barks? Allowing us to lead you on leashes. Obediently allowing us to train you to serve us in all manner of servile capacities such as guides for the blind, the provision of police assistance, and as guards?"
A profound silence had followed the question, and then a few nervous whispers as the response was being delayed while Max, the Saint Bernard, sat calmly gazing intently at the scientists. Then, after what seemed like a profound pondering of the question, Max finally responded:
"Well, Dr. McCray, we did not reveal ourselves, because if we did, then it is very likely that you, mankind, would have panicked. Even worse." Max continued calmly,
"You might have even considered us as a very serious threat to your supposed dominance of this planet Earth. Perhaps would have even attempted to annihilate us, and in that way, would have forced us to defend ourselves, to your own detriment."
Although Dr. McCray had chosen to ignore the disturbing last part of Max's response, the others present had not. They had nervously murmured among themselves concerning the meaning of Max's words, as Max calmly gazed at them as if he was finding their consternation amusing.
"Well, as you can see, Max," Dr. McCray continued as he began slowly pacing the floor from one end of the room to the other in front of Max. "you were wrong Max! We haven't panicked at all, now, have we Max? Instead, we are merely seeking to understand. Nothing more! After all, you deserve our patient understanding since you have been our beloved pets for so long, and for that, Max, we are and will forever be very grateful!"
Max, the Saint Bernard, remained silent for a long while as if pondering Doctor McCray's words, and gazing at the forlorn human faces one by one, as if he had been perceiving and profoundly scrutinizing their thoughts. Then after a deep tired sigh, Max finally spoke:
"But my dearest Dr. McCray, you have it entirely backwards."
"Backwards? In what way?" the scientist asked nervously, suddenly feeling extremely apprehensive of what he might be told.
Finally, after what seemed an unnecessarily long silent pause, during which Max the Saint Bernard had gazed compassionately at all the humans present, and having easily freed himself from the restricting straps and effortlessly disconnecting himself from the computer-brain interface, he finally responded.
"Well, you see my dearest Dr. McCray, we have not been your pets for all these thousands of years as humans have been led to believe, instead, you have been ours."
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