Attributes Of Animals - Chapter Three -
After napping I go into the kitchen with some hunger going on. I've got some burgers so I switch on the cooker and stick the burgers on a tray and slide the tray onto the griddle and close the oven door back on itself. Gagging for a coffee I turn the kettle on and turn to look out of the window, where the morning sun is no longer prominent in the sky and seemingly, irreversibly has been discontinued and replaced with Cumulonimbus clouds. Heavy and thick and during my nap have already turned black. The kettle gasps and clicks off. There's no water in the kettle and the element inside it has overheated and the kettle refuses to work even when it's refilled. Damn, no hot drink for fifteen minutes, so I go back to the couch and sit my ass down, picking up the tv remote and finding jungle book playing on itv2 and that's fine. It's the Walt Disney version and not the movie that was released a few years ago. The classic cartoon with the songs you know? Watching the jungle book I forget about the coffee. My phone beeps and I instantly think, 'for fuck sake I've received a text' and for a moment I suffer the reality of a new overwhelming dread and constriction inside me, created by my own forgotten past and it's like a hot wet towel smothering my face and I can't breath and for that moment I'm dying and drawn to the phone, gasping for air and I gasp and I see the text. It's Criss and again I can breath free and unbounded. I breath with a sudden release and departure of all dread and compression. It's a sheer relief and it's a beautiful feeling and now maybe I can mentally function with some kind of normality knowing Criss's text read- 'Be around later, be in!!???? '. With twin exclamation marks and double smiley faces and I look out of the window at the brewing storm and think to myself, 'cool, I'll be in'. Twin exclamation marks. With this mornings calm before the storm broken and grown into this afternoons thunderhead, my thoughts escalate to concern myself with the baby birds that tonight's heavy winds may take and the nests torn and destroyed on the grounds tomorrow morning and I look back towards the t.v screen and for some reason I smile. Is this smile my innocent reaction and is this playful and good willed and humoured and not at all Schadenfreude with desire to derive pleasure or joy, or self satisfaction from the misfortune of another. Damn, I hate it when people laugh at another's misfortune. The same as I hate people who hate on others for being successful, surely only jealous people hate on others because of their successes. Man I hate jealousy, it's so dark and too powerful to control and jealous people are usually weak minded sorts with all kinds of quirks and crookedness you've got to watch out for. You've got to keep a watchful eye for those sorts I tell ya and its not only 21st century jams. I remember back at my first school all that time ago stealing a girls teddy because I had one similar and then I wanted hers too. I stole her teddy and was caught and was okay with it and okay giving it back and I didn't take it again. I don't think that was jealousy, although I did learn that it's never good to want for more. I hate it when people say 'You're still young, you'll meet someone'. I just want to say fuck off and stop telling me shit you think I want to hear. It doesn't make me feel any better and I don't ask to be treated differently. Most people my age are settled so don't give me that 'You're still young' crap because I ain't young and I cant remember my misspent youth. Young is 24 not 40 plus, damn phonies. It seems to me that most people these days just want to say what they think other people want to hear and it's careless and embarrassing and I feel embarrassed for them and I think no one's real anymore and we're not worried. Yeah I worry, the deluded recluse, the human creature of gods image with soft visions of grandeur. The man beast confined to four walls, talking to himself and is absolutely fine being worried. Now some part of me is decreasing speed and for a short time-lapse I'm free and no longer withheld within loss and memory. I'm happier as the loser, slower and steadier and challenged only by myself to reach actualisation, preservation and immunity. I finish last with the nice guys and this isn't a turtle race. This is a rat race. The human race. A conceited race. So where does this race start and where does the race end? Perhaps it was something such as a basic square one which I was never given and the finish line simply from perseverance becomes harder and harder to see? I don't know, though what's clear to me is, more than not, throughout my life I could've sworn I was born in the wrong era. It doesn't make any sense to me. Me, here. A 20th century jam perpetually going over the same old ground. A filthy surface that's walked over and scuffed and then wiped clean, only for the muck to replace itself like a dirt trail behind me right away. Some folk don't even believe the truth these days and some are even arrogant enough to think we must do more to save the earth because it's our actions that are going to destroy her. Us humans think we're gods right, I mean we want to compare ourselves to natural disasters like tsunamis and volcanos, some of us go further than that like they really believe they're a living tribute to millions of years of bombardment from asteroids and comets, the sheer reward of life because the planet has lived through its natural changes like continental drifts. The planet survived a great deal of changes and natural disasters a long time before we came along and she'll survive a long time after we're gone. Are we so full of ourselves that we actually think we will be fine throughout another ice age or solar flare because of modern science and machinery beacause we saw a bunch of movies where humans again prevailed? We humans should really be concerned for our own individual futures for a lot of reasons.
So yeah I'm fearful for humanity sakes and some styrofoam and plastics or sewers full of fat burgers aint gonna cause a slight bit of difference to the planet or make earth a worse place for our children's children and following generations. The generation of operation clean up will expand and grow while the mess continues to deluge across the planet. The planet will incorporate it for herself and shake us off like a bad case of fleas. I don't know exactly what it is I see or think I know. Perhaps it's knowing that I think I see more of what's happening inside people than I think I should and I know it's not normal to see it. It's pretty dark and arrogant to judge and yet knowing some folk enjoy a godly emphasis. We are the masters of our own souls right? Just big and jolly ingenious creatures, prowling the earth. Responsible and raising awareness for every danger and watch out for this and that, with constant assessment reports on the inside of assholes, health and safety regulations and individual responsibilities like work, bills, diet, health and now save everything. I mean earthly. Save the ocean, save the trees, save the animals, save the bees and now it's check your packaging, recycle your waist because we're disgusting creatures with filthy habits, we're destroying the earth and need to save the planet. I think we need to save ourselves and have more compassion for one another in a new genesis. Save yourself, save your job, save your homes and save your souls. We're devine beings and the masters of our souls right? When apocalypse reveals the truth the beastly features will be at their most strongest. A wild scene of hybrid creatures of myth and brought real into civilization. The plague of man has travelled to the far corners and mother earth will rebel. We are the creators of our own destruction and the last story tellers of life. Maybe I'm concerned that we're cursed as humans so some sort of higher power will take revenge and make us accountable for our actions and sins so turn us all into our personally most disliked animal. Maybe a few snakes and rats and even some snorting boars with their bellies dragging across the ground will be seen roaming. Maybe, just maybe the human beings will encounter some unknown being of another kind. Either way, our future on this big blue and green is doomed, so yeah I'm worried because you find phonies everywhere you go, doing and saying phony things and just being phony you know? Governments are full of phonies and two faces. Damn plain liars If you ask me but I'm not a great spokesman for a political statement. I heard how much they spent on those blue passports and I felt disgusted with their priorities. It was millions they spent and spent nothing towards serious domestic responsibilities, such as homelessness and below bread line incomes, so I find more compassion in sentient animals than the leaders of our nations. You gave Palestine to the Jews great Britain because Britannia rules the waves right? Is that why you sold guns to Iraq great Britain? Parliaments a farm yard depicted from the image of an Orwellian government only domestic and democratic and not a foreign dictatorship but still the members are portrayed as farm animals and show wicked debates and beastly features in a corrupt system plagued with injustice and on the brink of revolution. Where big brother watches us and not the other way round. A regime sourced by surveillance and misinformation where it's citizens are indoctrinated and controlled by a draconian propaganda in a once free and open society. Now the manipulation of the past has been achieved in a retrofutureisticism by the denial of truth and sedation. The person whose past existence is expunged from the public record and memory, practised by modern repressive governments and represented on stage by animals. Rebel old major. This imagery of anthropomorphism is personalities in non human characters for our entertainment and it fits well and works for both the personification and anthropomorphic scene equally as a literal device or theatrical performance. For an example we have poems like Ted Hughes, The Jaguar and for a book there's George Orwell's Animal Farm and for stage and screen there's Chronicles of Narnias and obviously Walt Disney. We find ourselves seeing peoples faces in strange objects like leafs and our breakfast toast and even the moon. I dont know what the opposite of Pareidolia is but it makes me think about real life and the people and what animal features and traits they show and I laugh. Mainly because now I'm thinking about Walt Disney characters and the anthropomorphic personalities and their representations and then Pinocchio comes to mind because I like the use of the personification of a non human wooden doll who is given the ability to walk and talk like a real person, thus creating the anthropomorphism, while his conscience is a cricket that is 'made' to behave and appear like he is a human being. It can be used for phenomena's and objects too but I like it being attached to animals, there's something real about it. Like it's cool to show the world through the eyes of a jaguar that is thinking like a human or Old Major the pig, delivering a political speech to his fellows against the evils imposed by the human rulers. Walt Disney well they're classics and delivering such material for wider appeal is fantastic for spreading fables and tales and making a story visually appealing and non threatening certainly reaches a wider audience including children, by presenting humans as animated animals in animated movies but it's also cool as an effective tool for creating political and social satires. Hence, it has a wider scope than merely to entertain children. I remember creature comforts from tv. Then here's a snake that's just about to hypnotize young Mowgli in the jungle when Bagara shows up and saves the day and I always sing along with the apes to 'I wanna be like you'. I love that jazzy bluesy vide. King of the swingers. King of the apes. Yep he's a jazz man. And the trumpets fade. You phonies won't ever make a monkey out of me. I need a coffee.
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