At Twenty Four

At times when I look back and see how far I’ve come, I often wonder what I would be if things had turned out differently for me. It was a time I was happy and a time when I was sad. I had everything to live for and no reason to live. I thought I was invincible and yet a mere glance from another person the wrong way would break my heart in two. A time when I thought myself so beautiful, yet had no self esteem.

The year was nineteen seventy three, at twenty four I had the world at my feet. Still living at home, with no responsibilities you see. I came and went as I pleased and had no boyfriends. I dated a lot but nothing serious. No engagements of any kind they were not for me. I had lots of friends which I was very happy, for being popular was important for me. I had three special friends all of which I still see. They were my partners, sisters and my best friends. I had other friends but they were married, so they danced in different circles. I on the other hand was a menace to married woman everywhere. What a pity, if they only knew I did not want to be in their shoes.

Anna was dark skinned married but thought she was single. She had two children a boy and a girl. Carmen was tall very well dressed; she was one of those girls that didn’t have to struggle for anything. Then there was Tina we met while working together and became instant friends. We in many ways were so much alike, right down to making wrong choices for men. Yet we cared about each other. Tina was divorced. I sit back now and think of all the fun and disastrous moments we went through. The highs and the lows, the drinking the cat fights between us, especially if we met someone the other one liked. The competition between us, most of all we liked to dance. It was what I lived for to be able to hit all the night clubs in New York, meet all the men we could and dance the night away.

The Latin clubs of New York were the hottest thing in the seventies. The music, dancing and atmosphere you could not find in other clubs. They were a regular Payton Place and there were circles that if you were permitted to join you were considered to be part of “the in crowd”, the phrase of the seventies. The only requirements were you had to look good, be a good dancer and be involved in some kind of gossip.

Ray was a handsome looking guy, average height stocky not fat and was a great dancer. His mom whom I had never met was also a dancer at a club called The Corso. Anna and Carmen both knew Ray. When I met him we hit it off right away. We were immediately attracted to one another, so we began to flirt. I knew how to flirt especially if I liked a guy. This meant one thing; it was not going to be easy to run it through Carmen. She liked Ray too, although she did not admit it to me but she was doing some flirting of her own. When she did find out, I thought I lost a friend. She wouldn’t speak to me for the duration of Ray and me dating…..which wasn’t very long. Our end came when hot legged Anna slept with him; according to her she was testing his loyalty to me.

Tina was a wonderful person. We did stupid things together enjoying every moment. She was a good mother devoting time to her daughter Maria. She was an attractive woman who liked to drink beer. She lived in the Bronx in a fifth floor apartment building no elevators. It was a haul just to make it up the stairs. We shared secrets both good and bad. We often went on dancing binges and took speed to keep up. Even the night we were at the bar and we kept getting drinks from an anonymous person. Notes kept coming to the bar for her. Finally he asked for a dance and she agreed, he was a midget but she danced with him anyway. On the way to the dance floor all you could hear her laughter…..she was just that kind of person

El Toro was a bar in the Bronx where if you were anybody you were a regular. Regulars hung out together as soon as you walked in by the corner so we could see who came and went. The place was always frequented by New York Finest Latin style. Boy they were fine too. We never paid to get in; we knew the owners, bartenders, the DJ’s and bouncers. Drinks after we purchased the first one we didn’t pay for. Usually the men would by our drinks. Sometimes we would have empty turned over shot glasses to keep up with the drinks that were being bought. For all those qurips when we were asked for a favor we complied. We were placed strategically in certain parts of the bar so that we could get guys to buy us drinks. Every once in a while we would bartend, and then I would really make a few bucks. If I met someone I liked at the end of the night he would get my pink satin matches with my name and phone number printed on the inside cover. That year I met Gary, also twenty years my senior. I thought Gary was handsome and I was attracted to him. We never hit it off right away but a couple of years down the road we dated for a while. Gary was the type of guy who if he met and liked you, he would conquer you with his charismatic way.

All of us except Tina bowled on Thursday nights. Of course there too we had a bar. Everyone met there before bowling. We didn’t start until 9:00 pm and finished at 11:00pm. The bowling alley was a place we could show our skills and just relax. We made a pack, no dating guys from the alley. Of course that didn’t last very long. Carmen and I got so drunk one night on a drink called the grasshopper. I’ll never forget how sick we both became. We never had a Grasshopper again. The bowling alley was filled with competition and gossip. I remember a date I had with Pedro or Pete as they called him. He was tall, dark and very handsome. He asked me out and took me to see Barry White in concert. Wow! I loved it and really thought we had something going on but he was tied up in a big messy problem with a girl at the bowling alley. Needless to say it didn’t last long. Boy! What a disappointment. At the end of the bowling season we gave out trophies and spent the week-end at the Pocono’s Mountain Resort, for the best week-end ever.

It was the year I met John Guzman, he was sweet cared for all us girls like we were his daughters. Great dancer and wonderful to be around, he was a very charismatic person, I have found memories of John; we dated a few times nothing serious. John liked being around young girls and girls liked being around John. …

In the meantime I kept seeing the older man, I was in love with him…It was a disaster from the beginning. What is it that compels us to do these things? He was not the only married man I was involved with. I guess it’s with them I felt most comfortable. No ties, no commitments you see, just someone to be with and take care of me.

The longest relationship I had was with Joe, I met him when I was eighteen and continued to see him until the week before I was to get married at twenty nine. He was the man I felt closest too. We had something special. A bond ness the others didn’t have with me. It was Joe who crossed me over to becoming a woman at twenty four. He was the inspiration for my first poem entitled “Love”. Joe had had a hard life and was doing all he could to recover. He encouraged me all the time and never once commented on my weight. We both loved and cared about each other but never discussed his leaving his wife and us getting married. When I finally told him I was getting married I never heard from him again and I never tried to contact him.

At twenty four I thought I had it all, my life was grand and I just wanted to be twenty four forever…

Mary Chapman

Comments

Please Login to post a comment

A comment has not been posted for this short story. Encourage a writer by being the first to comment.