A GHOST IN THE W.H.

Can you imagine life without a dog? Barney couldn't either and so he made a decision to do something about it, although how he heard about it was a doggone secret so button up Barney. You were always a mouthy little bitch, even though you're a boy!

Barney felt it was his place to hang around the WH as he called it. After all it was his home the entirety of his life and he never could stand that Texas Ranch so, WH here comes a favorite son returned from the wars. Well Barney wasn't too sure about the fav son part. He had his moments of undisguised bad temper and got a few bites in, but still, he was current on the gossip nowadays. "This new dude" Barney said, "is a downright prick, you understand. He's not liked by Man nor beast. And I think it's because there's no dog to guide him, you know, that's made him an evil sort. When watching Telly, tweeting on his device, he needs guidance. Like me! I'm a wonderful influence,"

"There's rats in this goddam* barn" screamed the new Pres. "I want a thorough investigation. It came out of the shower after me. It was black! I saw it. Don't tell me I didn't. You're fired everyone of you!" Pres sat in his overstuffed chair panting heavily like a dog and began tweeting. INVESTIGATION, I DEMAND! Alicia his assistant thought to bring a bowl of his fav chicken nuggets covered in hot blue cheese sauce which never failed to comfort him resulting in a slumber equaling a baby at nap time. She turned the TV to his channel of choice MSNBC, so he could get all the venom out before drifting off. Alicia knew it had diverted his attention when she heard the profanities getting louder. "The GD rats are in here, I'm telling you! Can you believe it? They are YUGE, YUGE, they ate my nuggets. There's black rat hairs all over my chair and in my nugget bowl. I want an Investigation now! You're fired!" His wig was off and his scalp was bright red from the exertion. He had forgotten his teeth, left in a cup by the shower so his flapping lips made him difficult to comprehend. Alicia couldn't quite figure out him swearing about PUSSIES. "OMG Alicia managed SOTTO VOCE, first rats and now he sees cats? Maybe he had said Russkies, that would make more sense."

Barney had made tracks to the bedroom and secured his place in the Yuge king size gilt bed brought from Chump Tower specially for the Pres. The Pres's Missus had sent a care package of Twinkies along with it that pleased Barney no end and he was beginning to slip off to dreamland when the Pres was helped in by his Crew still mumbling about INVESTIGATIONS, although the injection they'd given him was beginning to throw fairy dust in his eyes. Pres presented his large glutei maximi to within Barney's range, whose appreciation of such largesse had not yet come into play. He bared his teeth for a large nip of the glutinous fat of the gluteus, whereupon Mr Pres lept up screaming anew about Rats, "Black and hairy in my bed, would I lie? I never lie. YOU CAN BELIEVE ME!! You're fired!"

It has come to pass that Mr. Pres. is now in residence at a chalet by the sea and has been given a job by the now defunct EPA to count the sea birds on the shore who seem to have escaped extermination. He has been assigned the Yugely crucial job of tweeting his findings to MSNBC, which only a person of bigliest importance would be allowed to do. He has a large hairy, what he calls a rat, as a companion, helping him eat chicken nuggets, covered in hot blue cheese sauce.

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