Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/26/2023 6:13:08 AM
Andrea Carreno Posts: 1
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Help with formatting, grammar, writing style. maybe its just not great. All feedback welcome. also may be unfinished
Sliver
Frivolous ashes bursting aloof
Smile Child, but not on the outside
Her essence diluted to the simplest form
remnants of an echo,
the aftermath of storms
Awaken the shadows within
Joyriding tsunamis from waves yet to be transcended
In my subconscious, comfort never ended
A magnetic connection piercing the fields of solitude,
Reach for the heart, but occupy the soul
Every piece you take…carries its toll
Agonizing over love once lost
You took their smile, but at what cost?
If you are intact, you’ll never be alone
The heavy breathing of a confined ego finds a place to call “home”
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