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Self-Loathe

Drowning in this whirlpool of emotions and facing the darkness myself 
Cyclones of flower petals pour all over the floor 
Their beauty I compare to myself 

Being force-fed the concept of beauty by shallow beings
An objective subject not meant to be demolished by a screen 
Our definition , Our own bodies , Our own faiths , Our own soul

Strong men , women , human beings preach about self-love
They scream ; love yourself
They accept themselves for who they are , but
do I accept myself ?

My skin , My body , My face 
I am the person I need to love the most 
but I try to become the person that society will accept

My complexion , myself ; I am not an object 
I am a living , breathing human being with my own beliefs
And yet I misplace my beliefs and I start to believe the shallow lies

Am I enough ? What is missing ? 
How much of myself do I need to lose before I start to become
a fresh canvas 
What else do I need to do to fit into society's mold?

My friends tell me I'm enough but I'm so fixed by what it 
truly means to be beautiful 
To me , my opinion doesn't matter yet it does the most 
The truth ; I already know but I refuse to believe 

Destroying myself 
My mind in a state of war
I'll always hate my complexion
I'll never be enough , I'll never be more

Contradiction 
A mixture of Self-love 
And self-loathe 

I Detest myself

Copyright © Salma Rahmat | Year Posted 2019

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Date: 4/9/2019 5:34:00 PM

Wow! Thank you for sharing this honest and raw piece!

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Book: Shattered Sighs