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Mariah Lopez Poem
I long to be with you, to walk along the sand.
As the sunset shimmers, pink and orange and warm,
It dances with the waves, as I wish to dance too.
My feet in the hot sand, my hair wet with sea mist.
But I am not from there, and you do not know me.
I swim in sunken ships, you jog along the bay.
I am friends with the fish, you float above my land.
A different kingdom, one you will never see.
I see yours from afar, but I hide from plain sight.
That bit of red you see, sometimes hiding in waves,
The fireball red streak, misplaced in the deep blue,
Yes that is me my love, me the mermaid of dreams.
My lips ever so soft, my touch ever so kind.
Do you want this body, it is so unlike yours.
Scales and fish tails, fins and gills abundant.
But I do have a heart, I do know how to love.
Querido corazón, come in the water's fine.
Take my hand I'll show you, the wonders of my land.
My breasts and my belly, my arms my beating heart,
I bleed just like you do, would you like to witness it?
I will always love you, if you do not love me.
If you do not see me, hope to envision me,
I will appear in you, I will be in your dreams.
Hold on to me darling, together forever.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
For the fifty frigid years I've spent forgetting your too friendly face,
For the fifteen forlorn times I lost my familiar faith,
Faint as those fallen, faceless, forever engraved memories are,
Fatal and faltering they make my fast-paced feigning heart beat by feelings so fake.
Follow me as phantoms from our fantasies' pasts free our paths forward.
I found the forest trail fastened in sight with fancy fairy blood.
Follow the sound of the fading falsetto from the fairest of God's favored Angels.
Hurry fast before frozen figures freeze your feet, stuck in mud.
For fifty long fervent, frantic years I've waited,
Fathoming, wondering, if it'd be feasible for you to be here.
Freaking out for a change so fair.
Fatigued, fretting, frozen in fear.
Failures, fallacies, false bearings...
For once in fifty frigid years, freedom from you is now forever for me.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
Clinging to the shape of my stomach as my body curls into a crescent.
Body aches fill every inch of me as a lobotomy is performed on my heart.
The hands of a newborn turn the screws, left, right.
Your hands, her hands, his hands,
But my heart gets no better.
Instead it no longer beats, it no longer pumps, it no longer feels.
I'm a vegetable without any flavor.
Bland and stale that no one can have,
That no one should have.
You don't understand, and that just pounds the hammer harder into the spike,
Against my heart.
I wait, I wait, and I wait,
Almost a year now, yet the son of Aphrodite still laughs in my face.
The world still laughs in my face, which is why I want to fade away.
I try to fade into the abyss, yet I'm not allowed.
I great force, known as my loved ones, thrust me back to the spotlight,
Back to the surface.
I want to drown, yet this idiotic life vest is glued to my skin.
The floaties meant for a child are sewn into my flesh.
I just want to run away.
I need to, so I don't forget who I am.
The real me that's disappearing.
I love you because you remind me of myself.
The good me, the old me, and the present me.
All the good you see in me is in you too.
Run away before it's too late.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
I'm blessed to have you,
But I'm cursed to love you.
I don't want to fall in love again....
Or maybe I do?
But the thought terrifies me.
You don't feel the same?
I'm blessed to have you,
But I'm cursed to love you.
What is love?
I don't even know anymore.
I used to think love was like glue.
It links your mind to another's.
It fuses you to their hip.
Your hands can't stay away.
Your hands can't get a grip on reality.
I'm blessed to have you,
But I'm cursed to love you.
Your mind paints a pretty picture of the future.
You don't wanna get your hopes up,
But you can't help it.
You want to give them the world.
You want to sacrifice all of yourself.
You do exactly what you want to do.
I'm blessed to have you,
But I'm cursed to love you.
Cursed to love you because I can't have you.
Paradoxical and inexplicable, oh well.
I'll learn to deal....
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
Fly birds, fly.
Flap your wings in unison. Long strides gliding on each other's whispering breaths.
Create whirlwinds so powerful as if blown from the lips of the almighty God.
Like an army of ships departing into the vast void of mystery known as the sea.
Malicious waves taller than sequoias will threaten our very lives, but we must fight.
Alluring sirens with mesmerizing songs will draw each of us to the brink, yet we put faith in our inner strength to move forward in life.
As Disney once put it, when you wish upon a star it makes no difference who you are.
Believe and thou shall succeed.
Get ready to skydive out of the dark tree hole we all know, into something greater known as the unknown.
Tiring as it may seem now, it all pays off in the end.
Muscles will build over muscles greater. We can only get stronger with time.
Others around us may fall back to earth.
Help those around you, keep them from descending, but never forget to pick your own self up again.
Our flock will fly on to the Heavens and never cease to exist.
Believe and thou shall succeed.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
Sociopath, Sociopath,
Don't you touch me.
Each touch shoots poison through my veins like a lethal injection.
Sociopath, Sociopath,
I'm not your baby.
Loosen your grip from my being, and cut the ties from this noose.
Sociopath, Sociopath,
Think of someone else besides you.
You are not the sun, and we should not revolve around you.
Sociopath, Sociopath,
Tell someone else your lies.
You act as if the truth sets your tongue ablaze to speak and stabs your eyes out to see.
Sociopath, Sociopath,
Stay in your room in silence.
Alone time there for you is punishment fit for a king.
Sociopath, Sociopath,
Give us back control.
My life is not yours to keep locked away in your dungeon with malice as the key.
Sociopath, Sociopath,
Where is your conscience?
A simple "sorry" would be a start.
Sociopath, Sociopath,
Do you really love us?
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
I've dug my nails down into the ground
Broke them down to the tiniest of nubs,
Digging in the lowliest mines of the African continent just to find the hardest diamonds,
The sharpest crystals just to build a wall to shield myself away from you.
Hands rough to the core from manual labor now, because of you.
In my high tower once thought to be impenetrable, I lay face down, eyes shut tight to block out the outside world I once loved because it's reminders whither me away to nothingness if I stare too long.
Then with a battering ram you crush it.
My Berlin Wall has fallen.
The graffiti-filled walls that once spelled out our names tumble back to earth.
I'm left there flat on my butt forced to look around and evaluate my surroundings,
Taking it all in.
Why won't you look at me?
All the trouble and turmoil you dare to put me through to get your way like no one else in the world exists,
Yet you can't look at me.
Stare at me in my eyes, breathe me in, feel my heat, taste my soul,
Know who I am.
I already know you though.
So no need to come any closer.
Images haunt me everyday because of you.
I know you.
You destroyed my home and sanctuary.
What more do you want from me?
Third times a charm maybe?
Maybe next time the fall will kill me.
A few broken bones for now, those will heal, but if you want to kill me why wait?
I'll hand you the knife.
All you have to do is ask.
So don't run & hide.
Next time you see me,
Don't look away.
I'll be waiting for that day.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
A delicate little baby girl, born to an ambitious mother,
Newly born, staring into each other's eyes.
Inside the mother's eyes one could see all the hopes for the baby's future.
Although tiny and frail to the naked eye, the mother saw absolute beauty.
Time passes, the baby girl is now a little girl on a stage,
Curled blonde hair, plastic tiara, sparkle-drenched dress, all set and ready.
But she's so very shy, falls down, cries, and looks out into the audience.
Although preconceived dreams of a beauty queen dashed, the mother saw absolute beauty.
Little girl gets older still, developing into a teenager.
Not all changes however, still shy as ever.
Monstrous glasses, shiny braces, frizzy hair, biggest clothes she could find consume the real her, leaving her in the dark, alone.
Although alienated due to the ignorance of the world, the mother saw absolute beauty.
Fast forward through the years, teenager is now an adult.
She sits alone at home with photos of Audrey and Marilyn wondering, "Why couldn't I be born gorgeous?"
If only she could see what her mother always saw.
Although no eyes on her, she is full of absolute beauty.
Next day, full of courage for once in her life, though timid deep down, she ventures out.
In front of a coffee shop crowded with people, she paints.
Colors of every hue unmask the hidden wonder trapped inside.
All father 'round in awe amazed by the grace they have been longing to see.
Mother watches from afar, her baby girl, absolutely beautiful, as always, for the entire world to see.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
After my life fell onto black days and down in a dark hole of nothingness,
Before I knew you wanted something to do with me after all,
Crystals shining beautifully in the night sky might as well have been pieces of dung flung down on me by the mockery of the gods.
Depression became an everyday, never-ending way of life.
Everything had this menacing shadow glazed over it, everything that was once pleasing.
Finally after what's seemed like centuries of grief, I have some peace of mind.
Grains of loving innocence are showered upon me as you speak words of wisdom to your student.
Happiness doesn't seem so far away for us, this couple of kids who know too much for their ages.
Indebted and so grateful am I to you.
Just as you've busted the defibrillator out for the sake of reviving the real me, I vow to do the same for you.
Kindness is in one hand and a tender touch from my lips to yours in the other,
Love from my depths will bring you back from getting lost in the insanities of life.
My darling, my serenity,
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Ophelia couldn't maintain a grip on her own life, lost in her lover's insanity.
Pretty little face, weak little mind it seems like.
Quiet and weak I suppose I appear to the world.
Rain falls to my chin almost every day, I know.
Surprising as it may be though, I am like an ant, much stronger than I appear.
Together with my serenity, I will be invincible.
Until the day of reckoning, we will rule our land, our surroundings.
Vision will be repaired so we can both see things with the eyes of God.
Water frozen by the ice queen, tainted and murderous will never reach thy lips because I would never let that happen to you any longer.
X's and O's, to and fro, stabs and jabs from old loves past, forget them.
You are mine and I am yours.
Zip close the cover over the glossy mirror and use only the reflection of yourself coming off my gaze, eyes locked for all eternity.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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Mariah Lopez Poem
There's an animal deep down inside me, deep in at the depths where my soul lays to rest.
And no, it's not a bunny, or a cute little puppy dog, or even a tiger.
It's more like an ancient wolfman in character, but 10 times larger and 20 times more vicious and rabid.
About the size of a grand mountain, yet somehow squeezed and compacted into a little girl just below five feet in build.
It's what causes the waves of pain in my stomach that mimic the fifty foot waves of a turbulent tsunami aimed to destroy the lives of thousands as he tosses and turns, kicking his legs out trying to find comfort room.
It's what causes the grueling tugging at the angel hair strings of my heart due to its constant hunger, constant want to devour the contents of my dying heart.
It keeps gnawing and clawing at my skin, he's tired of being trapped, and I know how he feels...
I'll help him, my new friend. Let me cut the flesh from the outside as he scrapes me away from within....
Bam!
He's out and I can see the glee on his devilish face with a wicked grin that'd pierce the soul of even the most innocent child.
Then like a bolt of lightning from the mighty Zeus aimed to strike him down, he is gone....
But I'm not alone. I feel like I am but in my schizoid brain I know I'm not.
You are there.
But I'm bleeding out from the wound left behind that was meant to be a release.
Blood and guts spewing out on the burning ground as you frantically try to save me.
But what should I do?
I know the pain you see in me is pulling you down into the inferno as well.
Is it right for me to put you through a reoccurring misery to save the life of a person who just wants to die anyway?
A person who can hurt you so so badly to the brink of insanity just with the snap of her two fingers....
I don't want to be that person, and you may not think I'm that person, but I can't help but be aware that I am....
I hate seeing you in panic as you struggle to shut my wounds.
Even as my vision is starting to blur I can see what you're trying to do.
Sewing needle to your lips trying to thread into it the care for me you've somehow strung together.
Finally you successfully spit your string of words through the needle's slender eye.
Naturally, I cringe as I feel you pulling ever so tightly with all your might at the gaping hole....
Imbedded in my skin now and evermore to this day are your healing words, "I'll always be here." "You're not alone." "I love you"....
But as a result I'm scarred and damaged, feel used up and unworthy like yesterday's irrelevant newspaper.
Hold me back and tie my hands immobile because I just might snap.
Only reason I grow my nails out is to rip open all the godly work you've done so far just in case it has to be so...
But still through it all you're my salvation, the foundation to this rickety house we've built for the pair of us.
You sustain me, and as long as you do I promise to do the same for you.
I'll keep moving along with you till we reach an ending of a story with a happily ever after, but till then I'm just this shell of myself matching your emotions to become a single entity with you,
Giving you the parts of me that you need to survive, and even though I don't care to live I'll welcome the parts of you that you wish to give.
Hopefully through this grisly, yet alluring, exchange we'll bring out the bests of ourselves.
Now and forevermore....
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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