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Best Poems Written by Julie Grenness

Below are the all-time best Julie Grenness poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Indoor Sports

This is a verse of new thoughts,
I've invented indoor sports,
Written in a poem of riddles,
Like, "What is Time for Tiddles?"
Why, it's wine with Mahjong,
Those tiles don't tarry long,
Then, it's "Drinks for Scrabble,"
With bevvies, we'll all dabble,
Or, "Come and try my beers,"
Many varieties over here,
New indoor sports, my dears!

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Unwomanned

Here, I dwell in no man's land,
On the flip side, there's men unwomanned,
They can be a miserable band,
Desperately seeking a hand,
I read their profiles for online dating,
Is this pulp fiction they're creating?
"Honest, sensuous, sincere men here,
Tactile and reliable...", Great, my dears,
All searching for affection,
BUT, I want your ex's true opinion!
Can I have her phone number, please?
What do you mean she's overseas,
Like forever and permanently?
Oh, really, really, really.....
What does your ex say about you, please?
Why complain about her to me?
Honestly, why are you unwomanned?
While, here I dwell in no man's land.........

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Wedding Bell Blues

The tradition of marriage,
Bourgeois blackmail and baggage,
Is it all a bargain for men,
Is this what white weddings meant?
All the love that is lost,
And what is the ultimate cost?
A divorce court pizza,
Magistrate smirks like Mona Lisa,
Four corners, one for each,
Dog gets the crust, if it can reach,
Cats get the anchovies, 
Were white weddings all for phonies?
When is the revolution?
Blancmange brides for pollution,
Bridesmaids-Little Bo Peeps on crack,
Does society cut us some slack?

We joined the bourgeoisie,
All ends in tears and hypocrisy.

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Peace By Ikea

My muse had a good idea,
Let's flood the world with Ikea!
Dysfunctional kits, there and here,
For guns and bombs,
No one would care,
They would be assembling Ikea,
Each kit, four missing bits,
Wrong pictures to give them the blip,
Globally occupied with dysfunctional Ikea,
Now isn't this a good idea,
Peace on Earth brought by Ikea?

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Trash Or Stash

Our daily life and its trash,
Our shadows and secrets in a stash,
One day we'll be ancient lives,
Not strictly business, once did thrive,
All lost in the translation
to trash, our sacred institutions,
The mixed views of the robots,
For humans, they'll have soft spots,
All our shadows in a stash,
Secrets of daily life in trash!

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Obesity Ode

(Sing to the tune "American Pie.)

I long, long time ago, I can still remember when,
Junk food made me smile,
And I knew if I had a chance,
That I could make my fatness dance,
And maybe I was happy for a while,

But McDonald's made me shiver,
With every burger they'd deliver,
Bad news on their doorstep,
I couldn't take one more step,

I can't remember if I cried,
When I passed size twenty-five,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day I knocked back French fries.

CHORUS....
So, bye, bye, McDonald's French fries,
Drove my chevy away from McDonald's,
didn't have a bevy,
I said goodbye to whiskey and rye,
Singing no more apple pies,
That's the end of obesity fries....

Did you go to McDonald's biomes?
Did you know you're changing your genomes?
Eating all those pesticides?
Now do you believe they love you guys?
Might as well eat dead flies!
And can you change evolution in real time?
CHORUS.......

I was an obese teenage bronco buck,
Driving to McDonald's in a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck,
The day I ate landfill in those French fries...

I started singing bye, bye obesity fries,
Drove my chevy, had no bevies,
And the burgers were dry,
This is the day I knock back French fries.
CHORUS.......

I met a girl who sang the blues,
]She'd passed turning size twenty-two,
I asked her if she ate junk food too,
She just smiled and drove away,
I drove down to the store no more,
Where I ate additives years before,
But the junk food store didn't care anyway...
CHORUS, CHORUS.....

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Junk Food

At McRonald's, you get what you order,
McVirgin burgers from someone's daughter,
Sluts just wanna have fun,
In a sesame seed bun!
Do you want any French fries?
Have some fertilisers and pesticides!
We're not selling these apple pies,
Because we really love you, guys, 
Here, more landfill and sulphate dioxides,
Have a nice day today,
Anyone for take away?
All in a plastic sesame bun,
Yum! Yum! Yum! Yum!

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Ode To the Afl

ODE TO THE AFL!!!  (Melbourne, Australia, a unique whimsy)

Are footy fanatics,
Total raving lunatics? 
The flag's in the bag!
We've got some lively lads,
Best we've ever had!
Peter Pans on pot,
The flags that time forgot,
Footy finals fever,
Talk about dream weavers!
Footy finals phobias,
TV claustrophobia,
Why didn't we win?
Any old excuse again!
Footy fanatics,
Raving lunatics,
Footy finals fever,
Melbourne's dream weavers!

(And we wouldn't have it any other way!!)

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Hot Wheels

HOT WHEELS!

I went from broke to buying a Lamborghini,
Price tag not so teeny,
Sleek and black, for my Driving Academy,
Or should I buy the red Ferrari,
Command a salesman to 'comprare'?
Wouldn't he be a happy chappy?
But would it make me so happy?
I would be buying loads of stuff,
But when you've old, you've got enough!
To me, consumerism is in vain,
My peaceful simple life in the slow vain.
So, today, I didn't but the Ferrari,
Or indeed, the sleek Lamborghini,
There was no Hot Wheels Driving School,
Consumerism as a manipulative tool.

Details | Julie Grenness Poem

Disaffection

DISAFFECTION

To any politician,
Tell someone who cares...
This is society's news I'm reading,
Disaffection and tales of lemmings,
To any politician, 
Tell someone who cares,
Homeless youth, street sleeping,
Drug overdoses away they're sweeping,
To any politician, 
Tell someone who cares,
School leavers, forever unemployed,
Dystopia is being deployed,
To any politician,
Tell someone who cares,
Drug ravaged teens, 
Rapes and stabbing their scenes,
To any politician,
Tell someone who cares,
Disaffection is poverty and crime,
Young armed robbers doing time,
To any politician,
Tell someone who cares,
This is society's news I'm reading,
Anything else our nation could be doing?
To any politician,
Do any of you really care?

Maybe I'm talking to myself, my dears.