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Susan Manley Poem
I am recovering my mojo, though I have almost no hair
That damn Chemo stuff took it away, and one day it was not there
And it really did fall out in a matter of days
Almost comical your mind says HEY!
And despite being a woman, I feel I look like a man
A bit embarrassing you see, it was not in my plan
I had worn the "cold cap" that supposedly preserved it in health
But while they were nuking my body, they nuked it to hell
So I wear those funny hippy hats now,
those slouchy knitted caps that you see
And I do my best and pretend they don't see
I know it grows back, but there is embarrassment still
And it may come back curly.. good lord a new hairstyle I will
But for now it's an inch, and a little sparse on top
And for a while before it all came out it was an Albert Einstein mop!
I kinda laughed horrified when it went to that point
And well, I now smoke those pot joints
It helps with the nausea which I still have
and it relaxes me on the things that make me sad
See I just lost an ex business partner to hospital error
and that played my sleep, her wife in despair.
Losing my hair is nothing compared to that loss.
I know it down deep, I have suffered that cost.
And so now, I laugh at the vanity hit
and put makeup on when I need to look fit
And I still run around braless you see
because well I am a heathen, societies freed
And if dignity was bent by the small sacrifice
I project my personality and suffer that cost
Keep swimming, Keep swimming...
Like what Dory said
That's my motto that sings in my head
How to get out of the funk. Artimus (C) 2/3/24 Susan Manley
Inspired by Rebecca Heineman , my friend, former business partner who lost her spouse Jennell Jaquays.
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2024
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Susan Manley Poem
Our friendship has always been my North Star
The guide to everything out there
And when we lost touch
I lost my compass
I sealed the wound with fire
And trudged on with desire
Trying to recreate what we had
The effortless close bond, over time becoming sad
People did not meet me half way
They did not grasp the world the same way
And so a small boat adrift I was
Alone bereft for me
And that became my norm
And a new me for a time was born
I did not want to be close
Relationships made me morose
Pleasure was all I sought
To dampen grief and doubt
And that way I existed
For a long time just sort of delisted
Artimus born
Few wants, no needs
Completely free and no nervous energy
It’s calm to withdraw
To view life as a brawl that you no longer engage
And then I hit tastes of want
And it became need
And I tried again
And did not succeed
So I settled and I slept
Most of me to myself I kept
And then once again you were here
And well with joy I could interact without fear
And so I started again to create
And life is not over, it’s not to late
And here we are
And here we are to my North Star - Artimus (C) Susan Manley 8/21/23 for Alan
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2023
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Susan Manley Poem
Reality, wow what a concept
lifes provable facts
those incontrovertible truths
things that stick out and not fall in the cracks
Its subject to interpretation you see
describing the elephant for the blind
this part the leg,
that a tail, this part a trunk!! Divine!
For reality takes an observer
to set itself in the track
if that tree fell in the woods with no one to hear
did it make a sound of a crack?
Without perception it's all contention
if it ever existed at all
and we are all running around with vivid imaginations on ground
till incontrovertible evidence is found
See it, touch it, document away
till the item in question is in decay
or maybe even obliterated away
the observation itself causing the obliteration to stay
And so that was how faith was born
for people to believe in others known truths
we didn't have to experience it first hand
we just had to trust like a youth
And from that comes charlatans
who mangle that truth for cash
and make the world a caricature
and history rewritten despite past
With no firm understanding of what is
or firm understanding of what was
people lose their compass
and look to god above
Reality, wow what a concept. - Artimus (C) 10/11/2023 Susan Manley
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2023
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Susan Manley Poem
It’s a long slow trip into misery
It starts by putting that bad feeling aside
By narrowing your expectations
And removing all of your pride
And as you make you humble
You actually cripple as well
You reach so far to have someone else
That it actually puts you in hell
It’s a long slow trip into misery
From which I must return
And in order to do this
I must internalize the lessons learned
To believe in me
To set me free
To walk into the light
And possibly disappear from sight
Ascent from Misery – 2001 (C) Susan Manley (on my divorce)
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2023
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Susan Manley Poem
It's rare that most would call me a hot head
I am usually the coolest cucumber instead
I have no tells, so their heads don't swell
and I don't get entangled to soon
But there is this tall lanky guy you see
who plays a mean bluegrass guitar so sweet!
and he's turned me on my head
my tongue lolling out the side, I feel a big oh wet appetite
Its going to be corn dogs yeah baby and ice cream cones
I have to whip up these muscles and work on my tone
He gonna have expectations of meee
and I intend to make him sing oh yeah oh how deee
I do drive like a race car driver I confess
and mr ex officer may have to give me a new test
until he gets over that
I will have a bit of time to press
But never before would anyone claim I swear
that I was a hot headed daredevil minx
its this tall lanky boy and his talk of being my toy
and I don't ever want it to jinx
It's going to be corn dogs yeah baby and ice cream cones
I have to whip up these muscles and work on my tone
He gonna have expectations of meee
and I intend to make him sing hot diggity!
I wonder how he likes his ice cubes. jagged or smooth
and how stiff he likes his drinks
on the rocks or straight shot no lube
And I just await tying him down so we can just work out the kinks
It's going to be corn dogs yeah baby and ice cream cones
I have to whip up these muscles and work on my tone
He gonna have expectations of meee
and a month of head bobbin review with a view
- Corn Dogs and Ice Cream Cones for Brian - Artimus (C) Susan Manley 4/22/24 1:51AM
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2024
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Susan Manley Poem
[Instrumental]
Some think it's given up front,
some think it's earned.
Some think it's something innate,
some think it learned.
Though trust is not a physical thing
it can be broken, shattered, smashed.
And with each blow the trust left is not like cash.
Its more like water, it drips and drizzles and oozes all away.....
Its meant to be in a calm still pool not agitated in any way.....
Though the pool can settle to a blow the container might gain a crack.
And its ourselves you see that need the fixing, to hold the trust pool back.
With trust in yourself, and trust in others, the world is a friendly place.
With lack of trust into a bleak world we are thrust and our future is in decay....
(and its scary too)
So build the bonds of trust with me, and as I will with you...
To be there for each other, no matter what may come
is the best in this world we can do.
And if you can make this leap with me
a relationship is possible you see.
(Because ultimately trust is a two way street)
Though trust is not a physical thing
it can be broken, shattered, smashed..
And with each blow the trust left is not like cash...
[Outro]
Its more like water, it drips and drizzles and oozes all away...
Its meant to be in a calm still pool not agitated in any way...
Though the pool can settle to a blow the container might gain a crack.
And its ourselves you see that need the fixing, to hold the trust pool back.
So heal with me. So you and I can be.
Meet me in the middle and lets see what this can be...
Give us a try.
Take a leap of faith.
Build that bridge each day, with a step each and every day!
With me you are safe.
With me you are safe.
With me you are safe....
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2024
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Susan Manley Poem
I visit the bug zapper on Tuesday
much to the radiology teams delight
I named it thus before meeting it formally
my comedic self puts up this type of dust
If you make fun of it enough
it can't cause you pain
it only gets three passes in each refrain
Less than a minute and half on my breast
that's about the time I heat up my coffee
and then that settles that...
They put 3 microdot tats on me to line me up with lasers
It started with sharpies then moved to pokes
as they stuck me to put on the dots as I cursed and joked
I sung them songs like kermit the frog
Which made them laugh like loons
The manager that runs the room
admitted in a previous job he was a ghost hunter
This is going to get really fun!
I have a date for EMF readings and a podcast!!
We nicknamed the tats Hello Kitty NFTs
after all we have to be hip and forward thinking
But you can't collect till I have left the blue marble
one on my bow and one on my port and starboard
They have me breath through a tube
and then hit a button to breath out
and then they send me through the machine
And I am not to move as they rotisserie me through the machine
so as not to radiate a rib or two or maybe my lung tissue too
It's all precise and in a very cold cool room
and the staff has me half naked from waist up
And If i wrote it in a book with just the steps
you would be sure it was fantasy bondage scene
So that event will be my daily dose
for 5 days a week my penance
And I will bleed radiation at such a dose
I will get tired to the point of comatose
I will have a laptop along and my dog
an outlet and emotional support
I have not mentioned I am working on a startup
Its in AI SaaS of course And I am the COO as is my usual spot, building systems
Second in command, the power behind the throne
less in demand
but he who sits in the throne has named me his hand.
I cheat though see, he is my new beau
In 3 seconds after meeting me he had to take me in tow
His investor meeting had fallen through and in minutes I filled his calendar
and with high quality meetings no less
A VC and 3 fellow entrepreneurs with connections
Poor guy didn't know what hit him.
So yeah my plates kinda full
No sitting in a lull
Don't forget I still spin plates for my autistic son's days
and help run a chess instruction company's retail plays
and consult on side ventures in other ways logo creation yeah!
I am a Force of Nature - Artimus (C) Susan Manley 3/15/24 6:59
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2024
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Susan Manley Poem
The dance of falling in love
I did not believe in love at first sight
its illogical at best
but faced with how I felt that day
and your memories now to overlay
It's clear that love at first sight has stood the test
I saw you in a flash and knew I needed to meet you
So compelled I walked out of a castle across a brick cobbled road
and I put on my best public face to impress
and I introduced myself in the most respectable way
And we then each knew the others names
and only recently you filled me in, you were aware of me too
and felt the same
That first time we laughed together is when I consciously knew I loved you
The pull was not just crazy lust
And then at the photo shoot when I touched you and kissed your face
so electric I just about bust
And as you faced me and then we kissed on the lips for the very first time
an electric jolt that became molten in place
and for a split second I was yours and you were mine
And we both remember it all like it was yesterday
which is impossible but true a shared memory
I went looking for answers because its over the top
We are one soul spread in two bodies
They call it twin flame and I repeat
I have never felt so complete as when I am with you and at peace
it's everything and sublime
It just about stops time
And I am just so damn glad you are mine, and I am yours
The dance of falling in love, to Alan Artimus (C) Susan Manley 7:36 PM 11/06/2023
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2023
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Susan Manley Poem
Simple, Hot and Deep
An entrepreneurs creed
I learned this phrase from working with Trip Hawkins indeed
That's the key to a good consumer product
make it easy to navigate, sleek in design and just this side of crazy
Make it feature rich and customizable
Give the consumer the controls so it's not lazy
It's the fantasy of control that drives a consumers engagement and enjoyment, that relevant detail lost on many a developers deployment
As a producer I see it time and again
they get lost in bad interface and endless steps to get to the end
Trip isn't always right, he was responsible for the single button mouse on the MAC. And us experienced PC users make bawdy remarks about that and a few wise cracks.
But Trip is a genius and inspirational to boot.
And I listen intently whenever he opens that chute
Because the nuggets of truth and refined thought that pour out
are gold mine worthy, have no doubt.
Simple, hot and deep. Artimus (C) Susan Manley 10/05/2023
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2023
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Susan Manley Poem
The laws of attraction, rules or abstraction?
For keeping life in check and at bay.
Is love and the divine merely centrifugal force sublime
and God a form of magnetism, attraction that sways?
If we look deep out our own focus and sweep
our ability to grasp and construct
Within our own cells the laws of the universe tells atoms and electrons orbiting away
When it comes right down to it, all things are constructed through it and all energy, light and why not love are born this way ?
For if its the transfer of might, that creates light why can't God in the universe be "love".
So love is attraction, and centrifugal force in abstraction keeping things moving together through space
And an exchange of ideas is merely mutating your molecules as I steal or bring your electrons to excite
And neutrons and protons the defining chemical phonemes the very base of our simplification of all...
For we are all little worlds of whirling galaxies through space and time waiting
and evolving to share energy and become one for a while
changing the very elements of your being
And we move through space, never remaining in place to go on throughout history evolving human kind
the mystery of life and love, laws of attraction - Artimus (C) 2006 Started in 2006 completed in June 2023 Susan Manley
Copyright © Susan Manley | Year Posted 2023
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