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Sometimes I think My computer is plotting against me And only me! Trying deliberately to drive me mad. My computer knows When I am busy, Then it throws a hissy fit. Constantly Crashing It often refuses to boot up, And crashes constantly. It loses data it had the day before. Or five minutes before. Or refuses to save the data. Just messing with me. As it loves toying with me Making me yell and scream On my computer screen. Can’t Open Files Often when trying to open A document in Word, The Word open file button Fails to respond Sometimes you have to wait Five minutes for it to respond. Or when trying to open a file The computer opens a random file Instead. Or when trying to open a document It kicks you out Often several times Random Blue Screen of Death Cursing up a blue stream of blue curses As the blue screen of death Marches across the dark blue screen Smiling at me. Years ago my computer converted everything to the number 6 endlessly scrolling down the blue screen of death. Endless Non-Response Spinning blue wheels Copy and Paste Wiping out document text Or when doing a simple copy-and-paste function The computer defaults to the last command Making you have to do it again and again Up to five times sometimes And on a random basis The copy and paste function Wipes out all data In the document And to add insult to injury Deletes all previously saved version Sending the data Into computer limbo land Never to be found again All without warning Just zip it's gone! Frozen Num Lock Another thing My computer loves doing Is on a random basis, Turn the numbs lock on Without warning Turning text into numbers. Requiring you to manually Turn off the number lock. Defaulting to Foreign Languages A very annoying feature Is that when you log in from overseas Everything defaults to a foreign language Usually without the ability to change It back to English Mission Accomplished And all the other gobbledygook messages That pops up every five minutes, it seems As the computer slowly drives me mad. Flashing the final insult User-driven mad Mission accomplished.
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