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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So this is what they call anomie? A grayness, A blank, All things devoid of beauty? When the eternal arms, Have left me to my own devices, To toil in deaden land To paint futile pictures? I’m wading through waves, through fires Surely to send a man to delirium, And as though it never came to pass. What rips men apart, What fetters pull him in twain, Simply move me with sway And don’t move me at all. Tears rush like the flume Admonishments thrown And I can only sigh in frustration At all this petty emotion. For man fills his stage with characters, And bleeds ink all within his works Aspiring to his own audience, the god he is, I simply abuse this alchemy To bide my time till death. Call meaning what you will, Fill your life with love, Fill your life with gold, with God, with spite, with studies, with yourself. I cannot, I do not, I know not these simple pleasures. Perpetually I am not full, For there exists where faith should be A deep impartial hole If I could be normal, If I could be normal, If I could love, If I could believe, I’d turn away from it, And choose to stare uselessly into my faithless hole. All things beat on, as they be, And this conviction, be it ever so keen, That existence and living are useless things, I’d still see what believers still see That being the world as beauty, I’d only see it with a more grayish hue And see the sense it lacks to see And commit myself to this anomie.
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