you won't read this but-

it's been a long night and I've been tracing your footsteps since the beginning I am tired of the black it brings of your shirt, the way you smelled as you hugged me goodbye suddenly I have to wait years to see you again to touch you again and I have to hold back my tears to comfort those already crying because I don't have the courage myself I don't want you to think I'm a crier But I am I just cried inside and you never knew and you boarded a flight to your dreams while I crashed face first in a cloud of mist I don't want you to think I'm blind But I don't see an end to the tunnel of your leave and you're working so hard trying your best I just wish I knew what that meant staying up nights in a place so foreign I don't want you to think I care But I want to be a distraction to your exhausting days and if I share this tonight will you forgive me for feeling this way? if I miss you too much will you not think of me any less? I don't want you to think I'm this sentimental But I'm missing a part of me with you gone and I want you to believe I'm brave that I go into basements with no fear of the shadows But I'm just a coward deep down, maybe you know that too I don't want you to think that I'm desperate But I'm holding onto every glimpse through a pixelated screen So come back please? It's been far too long, the days don't pass fast enough I'm still stuck in that night Reliving your wistful smile Please don't think I'm dying Because I'm not You're just breathing my air for me