Stressed

I should be depressed my relationship is in turmoil i am finding it harder and harder to rest Is this a test? Immensely sifting through an inferno of emotions I believe that we have reached our crest Distressed, I confess to my shortcomings and i get protest I cannot cope with this heartache any longer I am stressed, in search of a new conquest It is hard to digest losing time invested Although that is her request My anger has regressed, I concede to losing I guess!! Jared Pickett 2/7/2014 Asavvy1

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Just That Archaic Poet

Date: 2/18/2014 11:24:00 AM

This is truly stellar. The only problems I have is with the syllable vying. In the first stanza, you have a 5 syllable verse vying with an 11 syllable verse which throws off the rhythm for me. The second line isn't terribly strong; it's the only weak line, I think. I would tweak the first stanza some because the rest of the poem flows nicely. I love it because I totally related to and identified with your sentiments and enjoyed the way you wrote it. Again, kudos; well done! :)

Jared Pickett
Date: 2/19/2014 2:55:00 AM

Those are valid points, I will keep that in mind!! Thank you, I can dig it!!Asavvy1

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 2/18/2014 10:09:00 AM

Okies this IS rhyme, now having said that it has a universal appeal in content! Good! It helped you to write it & others to read it. I would like to know [though] why you think it's free verse to clear up that for you. Light & Love

Jared Pickett
Date: 2/18/2014 10:36:00 AM

You are absolutely right and I will make the necessary changes.. Thank you Debbie!!Asavvy1

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 2/11/2014 1:38:00 PM

The time one invests in past relationships or relationships which are passing through a rough patch..arent time lost..From each experience We take something positive to use in future comittements with others.Sad and touching the core dear friend.

Jared Pickett
Date: 2/11/2014 10:24:00 PM

You know Charma, I was just telling my mother the same thing the other day! That I will take all the negatives from this failure and try not to repeat them when I move on to the next one!! Thank you for the comments and I will have more for you tomorrow! Plus, I will be back on premium so that I can sponsor my contests that were such a huge hit!! Prepare, I have some challenging ones!!Asavvy1