quaran-teen
Corona virus pickup lines...
You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t”.
That mask brings out the beauty in your eyes.
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away?
quaran-teen...
Is being locked up (quarantined) with your family getting on anyone else’s nerves?
Nowadays we're so coarse. Do the least little thing and you get a "f**k you,
you *beep*ing, god d**n, *beep*ing *beep*ing *beep*ing *beep*.
Back in the 1800s though, the equivalent of that would be to say, "GOOD DAY SIR!!", and sharply turn away (in a dismissive manor) - back in the day that was a genuine "F-YOU". So, in an effort to tone it down a bit all my friends now say "GOOD DAY MISS!!" or "GOOD DAY SIR!!" and sharply turn away - instead of tearing off a good cuss =]
But we all know what it means.
So, I'm in my room, I'm in front of the mirror and I have my iPhone headphones on - not even connected to my phone - and i'm pretending to talk to this very cute guy who just started to join my friends’ zoom chat - practicing what I might say and trying different inflections to see which is the most effective - we may get out of this lock-up-lock-down someday *shrug*.
My mom just opens my door and walks in??!!
She looks at me and after a second says, "Who are you talking to?
Now, in the last 2 seconds my metabolism went from resting to marathon-aerobic
(KNOCK MUCH??!!, I think)
If looks could kill she would be stone-cold-dead. "NO ONE", I say slowly and deliberately.
She looks skeptical - because of the headphones I suppose.
I pull up the cord to show no phone and give her the angry wide eyed, head tilted see Look.
"You need to clean the stove", she says - a bit abashed at being wrong.
"Step (My name for my step dad) hasn't finished, I say, he said he'd let me know." Now she’s REALLY off her stride.
"AND WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOCK!?!", I say loudly, accusingly - I'm shifting to the offense now.
I see my Mom now starting to rev-up - but before she can say a word, Step comes in, puts his hands gently on her shoulders, gives her a turn and guides her out of the room.
Of course, they left the door OPEN.
"GOOD DAY MADAM" I roar indignantly as I slam the door and sharply turn away.
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