Magical mysterious muse
I dreamt an indistinct admiration, beautification, whereby immediate capitulation, deification encouraging immediate eroticization, fornication, gratification, harmonization, integration, which said personification, representation of some lovely lass, who unfortunately for me (unwedded in deep sleep) already affianced to another fellow, yet upon waking remembered naught about said evanescent gal.
Upon awakening, the cold hard reality of being an agitated, boldpated, emasculated, frustrated, intimidated, jackknifed, manumitted, nominated poet laureate quickly vanished in the haze and revealed a nowhere man accentuating how I never escaped from the maws being a pauper.
Thus yours truly resigns himself March twenty fourth two thousand and twenty four to imagine being gifted with untold riches courtesy female named Jean E.
This tramp (caricatured familiarly epitomized, demonized, characterized... countless Chaplinesque productions, Dickensian tales, oil paintings from artistic hands of great masters, and other anonymous exquisite craftsman, et cetera) remembers practically nothing of nine month stay in utero birth, childhood nor early adulthood my amorphous gauzy, hazy fractal memories solely comprise fractured, fragmented and splintered collection of miserable memories character wry zing living hellacious hand to mouth hard scrapple existence.
Past wispy vestiges of wretchedness present woebegone existence, which seems a worse fate than death
overpowering urge to survive summoning up one barely audible l'chaim utterance against depredations rustling grim reaper found nothing but defeat daily dismal grinding away of last shreds repurposed driven life fending off real and imagined threats sought salvation vividly encased within preserved imagination, an existence awash with trappings of southern comfort provided by Jim Beam.
Yours truly dug deep with bony introspective strength in tandem with fantasy notions knocking around in figurative heady noggin like cranial carapace to muster every ounce of strength escaping chronic confrontation endless streak of bleakness cursed with brutish, nasty nefarious fate as a measly looking human varmint, this grimy, grungy, rangy, et cetera looking besotted being clung with all might within mine five foot ten inch and one hundred and forty five plus pound body to transcend twerking terrestrial travesty tweeting and tweaking fickle finger of fate against favor.
I tapped atavistic survival skills summoning willpower to stay alive drinking butter bear heavy cross of dirt poor poverty borne no matter a hard-core skeptic at heart, this cynic plaintively called divine intervention to help this human piece of flotsam and jetsam to cope living like a doleful junkyard dog essentially abandoned, ignored, cancelled and shunned vagrant frequently raged against Deus ex machina manacled movement found figurative amidst literal unlovely bones slim pickens with demons that tormented psyche while traipsing along litter strewn condemned boulevard of broken dreams, torn and well-worn shoe kicked discarded items weather beaten hands reflexively bent to retrieve accouterments comprising colorful jagged shard, previously housed cheap fermented liquor nothing but crud filled remnant of dog gone boozehounds’ favorite drink.
Although never drawn to drown sorrows by turning to the bottle, cigarettes nor drugs (a respect for thyself existed), an automatic reflex caught eye-catching attention comprising anonymous drunkard’s signature lost memento and wireless device entity constituted a dullish metallic object, which turned out to be a heavily damaged slender MOTORAZR (long obsolete) phone.
Out of foolish embarrassment qua natural instinct, I rattled then rubbed remnant once containing amber liquid of the gods’ irrational explanation in mockery against cosmic consciousness, my mouth jabber walk key talky like into mobile phone these chapped, course and cracked fingers slid across unbroken surface of antiquated bottle in tandem with parched lips uttering cockamamie pretend plea, a crackle, snap and pop delivered a lifelike being whose corporeal essence resembled a goddess.
The mp3 player issued magically syncopated beats indicative per favorite saved playlist tunes former owner of electronic contraption without a shadow of doubt, this vision and auditory music definitely brought sobered Punch to this Judy schuss schlepper.
I clapped these nearly deaf ears, thence rubbed mine-gnarled hands across myopic cataract afflicted eyes.
These twin bodily motions executed just to dismiss stray chance of experiencing hallucination a handmaiden suddenly appeared in plain view, which disbelief found me pretending to conduct make believe conversation via encrusted cell phone while speaking a matter of fact tone of voice.
She (in a hypnotic, lilting, melodic and sing song tone) responded with casual chit chat con genie hill (Alladin like) everyday, general friendly conversation eventually ensued fraught with apprehension and self consciousness) before purpose of her presence became clear, an intuitive understanding took place akin to acute telepathic Sikh sixth sense.
Immediate difficulty arose to think of one wish to abet grievous humiliation and immersion in miserable penury, which might be abrogated once and for all with immediacy by simple syllabic voicing for a pile of crisply minted money, yet rather than blurt out immediate offering for untold material commodities and resplendent riches, I surprised myself and communicated a desire for female friendship.
A gamesome, genteel, gentle gal who would surrender herself for cries and whispers seemed more important than any pile of wealth aware cha self-actualization about my utter decrepitude appeared as immediate deterrent toward attaining a bona fide sincere relationship, an ordinary and reasonable ambition appeared as lofty goal.
Self absorbed in rambling longing of body, mind and heart, I quickly became oblivious to imaged or real corporeal presence, who spurred outpouring tears of joy per this ostracized and unwanted vermin eyes while loosening the tongue in an effort to picture the escape from pernicious malady crushing breathing room of abominable existence.
Lips shut tight also prevented the woebegone loss what appeared as some divine trickster who conjured
such a muse out of thin air upon winding down this unrehearsed recitation, a painstaking effort got made to open the eyelids very slowly.
Lo and behold, when manifestation in actual dolled up guise of a gorgeous gal stood still as a statue, and remained rapt with attention provenance and provenance found pleasure in my prattle, and promise got uttered by lovely lass to remain a permanent die-hard companion no matter many considered this fool on the hill paperback writer wannabe nothing but wretched pestilence of the earth.
This groveling gremlin of a human felt like a beast alongside one beautiful babe, who came across as genuinely modest and passionate to promulgate profound sharing of body, mind and spirit triage, where homelessness and pennilessness mattered not a whit to this literally spellbinding goddess, who seemed to materialize out the heavens in the likeness sans Betsy Ross, who exhibited unflagging ambition to welcome yours truly as a true value paramour.
The question how and where did this muserender herself to appear out of thin air puzzled, and quizzed curiosity assessed and gleaned no matter not one word uttered, thus necessity for conversation seemed superfluous for we both seemed able to converse by autosuggestion of this, that or the other query.
I (by the way) seemed to be more intrigued in this angelic spirit come to life viz comedy of errors that punctuated anonymous life with angst king lear riddled tragedy suddenly took a most pleasant unexpectedly found that all’s well that ends well with this leery former king of Prussia from southeastern Pennsylvania possesses great expectations by dickens no matter the field of whet dreams populated with slim (shady) T. Boone Pickens.
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