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Roommate Quotations

Roommate quotations. Find, read, and share Roommate quotations. These are the best examples of Roommate quotes on PoetrySoup.

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My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom? It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

+Fav | Go to Quote / Comment | Mitch Hedberg |

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

+Fav | Go to Quote / Comment | Steven Wright |

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you'

+Fav | Go to Quote / Comment | Steven Wright |

Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star. Lone Star: What? Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. Lone Star: What's that make us? Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.

+Fav | Go to Quote / Comment | Spaceballs |