Its not easy being a penis. I have a head I can't think with, an eye I can't see out of, I live with 2 nuts, my closest neighbor is an asshole, my best friend is a pussy and my owner beats me all the time.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. It's a cheap thoughtless perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable becuase all you ever get back is another box of chocolates, so you're stuck with this unidentifiable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup or an English toffee, but they're gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. So you end up with up with nothing but broken bits with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. If you're desperate enough to eat that, all you have left is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers.'

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Never would it occur to a child that a sheep, a pig, a cow or a chicken was good to eat, while, like Milton's Adam, he would eagerly make a meal off fruits, nuts, thyme, mint, peas and broad beans which penetrate further and stimulate not only the appetite but other vague and deep nostalgias. We are closer to the Vegetable Kingdom than we know; is it not for man alone that mint, thyme, sage, and rosemary exhale crush me and eat me! -- for us that opium poppy, coffee-berry, tea-plant and vine perfect themselves? Their aim is to be absorbed by us, even if it can only be achieved by attaching themselves to roast mutton.

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I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

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American energy is the energy of violence, of free-floating resentment and anxiety unleashed by chronic cultural dislocations which must be, for the most part, ferociously sublimated. This energy has mainly been sublimated into crude materialism and acquisitiveness. Into hectic philanthropy. Into benighted moral crusades, the most spectacular of which was Prohibition. Into an awesome talent for uglifying countryside and cities. Into the loquacity and torment of a minority of gadflies: artists, prophets, muckrakers, cranks, and nuts. And into self-punishing neuroses. But the naked violence keeps breaking through, throwing everything into question.

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According to legend, Dr. Sappington purchased his coffin several years before his death and kept it under his bed, with apples and nuts in it ...

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I have a head, but no eyes, I have a mouth, but cannot speak. When I get up, I'm shoved into a stright jacket, thrusted into a wet dark hole repeatedly until I throw up on myself, then forced to do it again! And the only company I have to give me any comfort at all are two hairy nuts!

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God gives the nuts but he does not crack them.

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As a coach you try to put yourself in their shoes and see what you're doing and how they may counter it, and see if there's anything you can do to be one step ahead without driving your team nuts.

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I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.

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They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts.

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There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

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Worldly riches are like nuts; many a tooth is broke in cracking them, but never is the stomach filled with eating them.

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Cranks live by theory, not by pure desire. They want votes, peace, nuts, liberty, and spinning-looms not because they love these things, as a child loves jam, but because they think they ought to have them. That is one element which makes the crank.

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Women. Can't live with 'em ... pass the beer nuts.

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There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts.

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It is far better to be happy than to have your bodies act as graveyards for animals. Accordingly, the apostle [St.] Matthew partook of seeds, nuts and vegetables, without meat.

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If your company has a clean-desk policy, the company is nuts and you're nuts to stay there.

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

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Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground.

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Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

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Man with dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts

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The National Rifle Association are the gun nuts of the world.

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There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts.

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Dick is the saddest thing on the planet. It's got an eye that can't see, a head with no brain, and has 3 neighbours which 2 are nuts, while the other is an asshole.

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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

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If this movie were a person, I would kick it in the nuts and say you suck.

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It takes 50000 nuts to put a car together, but only one to scatter them all over the road.

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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.

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God wants spiritual fruit not religious nuts.

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