For a hundred years I breathe and live, the flower of beauty and the bread of kindness. I am your friendly shade in the noonday heat of summer, and I stand pencilled against the winter twilight, a silhouette for dreams. At dawning in the spring I am filled with song, the host to a thousand birds, and I decorate the autumn with pageantry and colour. Then comes the woodsman with his axe. And still I serve. I am the timber that builds your boat; the rafters of your cathedrals; the choirstalls of your church enriched by the magic of the carver's fingers. I am the beam that holds your house; the door of your homestead, and the lintel too. I am the handle of your hoe; the wood of your cradle; the bed on which you lie; the board of your table and the board for your bread. When I am living, harm me not. When I am dead, respect me and use me kindly.
|
Charlie Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they made me horny, on Saturday morning... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.
|
Charlie Dad, how can you hate The Colonel Stuart Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass
|
Oh, Ox, how great are yours desserts! A being without deceit, harmless, simple, willing for work! Ungrateful and unworthy of the fruits of the earth, man kills his own farm helper with the axe, that toil-worn neck that had so often renewed for him the face of the hard earth; so many harvests given!
|
HATCHET, n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.O bury the hatchet, irascible Red, For peace is a blessing, the White Man said. The Savage concurred, and that weapon interred, With imposing rites, in the White Man's head. --John Lukkus
|
A new morality has burst upon us with some violence in connection with the problem of strong drink; and enthusiasts in the matter range from the man who is violently thrown out at 12.30, to the lady who smashes American bars with an axe. In these discussions it is almost always felt that one very wise and moderate position is to say that wine or such stuff should only be drunk as a medicine. With this I should venture to disagree with a peculiar ferocity. The one genuinely dangerous and immoral way of drinking wine is to drink it as a medicine. And for this reason: If a man drinks wine in order to obtain pleasure, he is trying to obtain something exceptional; something he does not expect every hour of the day; something which, unless he is a little insane, he will not try to get every hour of the day. But if a man drinks wine in order to obtain health, he is trying to get something natural; something, that is, that he ought not to be without; something that he may find it difficult to reconcile himself to being without. The man may not be seduced who has seen the ecstasy of being ecstatic; it is more dazzling to catch a glimpse of the ecstasy of being ordinary.
|
Charlie You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called F-You. It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground.
|
Stuart Would ya look at the size of that kid's head It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system Looks like an orange on a toothpick I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik spherical but quite pointy at parts He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.
|
Charlie And I'd really like to kiss you, but that's not a good idea, because then we'd start kissing on the couch, and then we'd start kissing on the bed, and I don't wanna rush into spending the night together. Harriet I'd love to spend the night together. Charlie I have no problem with that
|
John Johnson Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a bitch. And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or shiv, and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. (short pause) This way to the cafeteria
|
Harriet Do you actually like haggis Charlie No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
|
If the book we are reading does not wake us, as with a fist hammering on our skulls, then why do we read it Good God, we also would be happy if we had no books and such books that make us happy we could, if need be, write ourselves. What we must have are those books that come on us like ill fortune, like the death of one we love better than ourselves, like suicide. A book must be an ice axe to break the sea frozen inside us.
|
Harriet What do you look for in a woman you date Charlie Well, I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size.
|
Harriet Michaels: What do you look for in a girl on your date? Charlie Mackenzie: I know everyone always says a sense of humour, but I really have to go with breast size...
|
If we must have a tyrant, let him at least be a gentleman who has been bred to the business, and let us fall by the axe and not by the butcher's cleaver.
|
ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe. Friendly warning.Consigned by way of admonition, His soul forever to perdition. --Judibras
|
It is said that he once had a sore toe that so annoyed him that he went to the woodpile and chopped it off with an axe, quoting the Scripture,...
|
And where the offence is, let the great axe fall.
|
And many strokes, though with a little axe, Hew down and fell the hardest-timbered oak.
|
And many strokes, though with a little axe, Hew down and fell the hardest-timbered oak.
|
There is a piper down, I repeat there is a piper down
|
And many strokes, though with a little axe,
Hew down and fell the hardest-timbered oak.
|
Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
|
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
|
More and more I come to value charity and love of one's fellow being above everything else... All our lauded technological progress--our very civilization--is like the axe in the hand of the pathological criminal.
|
If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe.
|
If I only had an hour to chop down a tree, I would spend the first 45 minutes sharpening my axe.
|
The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.
|