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4/16/2021 9:36:01 PM sristi verma Posts: 2	Hello everyone! (whoever is seeing it) I would appreciate if you'll forward your views/criticism on this poem. The Past The journey that was incomplete, The world that is no longer serene. The path that was unclear, The destination which was not achieved. Those lost battles, the unheard cries, the lost hues and the blue skies. The love that pained, The lies that were sweet, The beauty that was unashamedly destroyed, The violence; unrestrained. Those lost petals, the fallen leaves, the lost spring and the shrouded moon. The betrayal that hurt, The death that parted. The sorrow; unbridled The cold melancholy. These memories, these feelings, the regrets, the agonies; no longer shackled. The cracked heart, the parched soul, the teary smiles, the broken glee, no longer stitchable, unhealed, unmendable. edited by vagabond on 4/16/2021 edited by vagabond on 4/16/2021
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4/16/2021 10:20:40 PM Bob Atkinson Posts: 295	Certain words shouldn't exist in poetry. The verb "to be" in all its forms, is are was were. Poetry's "the emotional content of literature" not prose, which attempts to deal with "facts." Poetry's an emotional reaction to "facts," not a statement of them. The word "THE" should rarely be used. Not conducive to good word crafting. Not a word to be proud of because it demeans poetry. My opinion only, do your own research. Also, don't be trite...... good luck. THE Past THE journey THAT WAS incomplete, THE worldTHAT IS no longer serene. THE path THAT WAS unclear, THEdestination which WAS not achieved. Those lost battles, THEunheard cries, THE lost hues and THE blue skies. THElove THAT pained, THE lies THAT WERE sweet, THE beautyTHT WAS unashamedly destroyed, THE violence; unrestrained. Those lost petals, THE fallen leaves, THE lost spring and THEshrouded moon. THE betrayal THAT hurt, THE deathTHAT parted. THE sorrow; unbridled THE cold melancholy. p { margin-bottom: 0.1in; line-height: 115%; background: transparent }
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