Poetry Forum

Forum Home » High Critique » Welcome to please critique

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

4/8/2018 10:18:27 AM Satsatnam Khalsa Posts: 2	Energetically Speaking Steer here to peer at these compounded years fierce uncried fears strangled my tears So strong, so stoic, brave in my silence, too no one to empower or donate my views to Learned that I’m supposed, to trust no one, tell no one better hold fast lest secrets will come undone Electric our address, electric our bodies lack of awareness, feel more like zombies Dead to my joy, insecure with disease fight, flight or freeze, trauma decrees Just been discovered! Solution’s found! I walk in it all around on the ground Key’s found in this doomed body’s feelings Hear this, she sends me her grandly warm greetings Addiction hides, compulsion derides accumulates massive quantity besides of foul smelly goo that it slowly oozes all this goo morphs, brims over, then it fuses with lies that they told me and I told myself it cools and it hardens to a huge gnarly shelf of trauma’s junk rooted in every cell through cram up my throat-dam until I go blue How can I feel it; huge loada crap’s in the way Love pulses through sorrow, betrayal, and plain ol’ dismay Rather than think hard, analyze, theorize feel it beat, healing seat, never terrorize Mind speculates, worries, and ruminates unending intrigue, more dead ends to designate Breathe consciously to observe energy’s flow gone the throat-dam, light’s clarity I now know Never a victim, a master in training heart chakra focal point mindfulness reigning
	• permalink • reply with quote
4/16/2018 9:04:00 PM JW Nugent Posts: 8	Could the too and to be reversed in second stanza?
	• permalink • reply with quote