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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/14/2024 11:19:47 AM
Buddy Van Buren Posts: 2
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Monster meat
Nothing more than monster meat That's what we are
A demons treat Living in the city, stone beneath my feet
No where to hide from life Tightrope walking on the edge of a knife
Monster meat That's what we are
A demons treat Blank keyboard just control alt delete
Unbroken legs and no where to run We are the bullets living in the gun
Monster meat That's how I feel
A demons treat Plastic sticks and no drum to beat.
It seems the only way to win is to fail. Just a bunch of empty souls for sale.
Monster meat That's what we are.
A demons treat Survived another day, thats quite a feat
Chewed up or swallowed whole There is no pleasant way to go.
Monster meat That's how I feel.
Monster meat Yeah that's all we are.
Just meat for the monster. A demons treat.
Monster meat. That's what we are
Nothing more than... Monster meat
Yep monster meat That's what I am
We are what matters the least In time we all gotta feed the beast
Monster meat Nothing more Nothing less than Monster meat
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12/15/2024 2:23:28 AM
Mary Lynn Nakoneczny Posts: 4
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It's perfect, Buddy. The tone plays out gradually, in my opinion from a slightly irritated point of view and peaks at the end, an all-too convinced frame of mind from the speaker. Awesome.
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