Consultation
I have asked before, though you may not know,
About how to deal with the difficulties you strain me with.
My own adventure for my true soul has begun,
And so I must make all a witness,
Or the proof will be my execution, and I will not
let my ancestor’s shacklers hold me down once more,
years of lost maidenhood that I will protect through my will.
And so I turn for advice on my self-discovery.
I ask one of my trusted,
Querying endlessly on the matters of my heart,
Oh how I want to crush it under the weight
Of the world, all I want to carry at your feet.
I shortly resort to hatred, petty and undefined,
worse than weak in its nature.
My trusted’s breath lies heavy on the mind, weary,
And they say to lead with the beats, and I must follow.
To which I note. Any internal protest at the future betrayal, of which
I know I will commit, comes quick and leaves quicker.
I ask my lawyer,
I ask of how to leave the thought of you behind,
And I ask another and another
And another and another
And I am scared I have destroyed my adventure,
As I stare into my reflection and do not see my true desired
When your name leaves my lips,
And the word from my very tips,
The ache grows too strong to supress.
And I have worked hard for my soul,
But the thoughts surround and consume me, blackening my mind like coal.
So if I must leave my heart behind to not depress,
I welcome the prospect like the widest gates of heaven.
I hate you, the you that does not know I have fallen,
And the you with the voice of songs and the spirit of angels,
The eyes of prisms and the warmth of hearth mantles.
I am leaving you behind, and as much as you magnetise me,
I will transform on my journey, and I will no longer orbit you as my soul gains the mass of love.
Copyright © Lina Alfahad | Year Posted 2025
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