Let 'Er Rip
I went out with some guys for lunch
we ate all we could find.
We ate like we were starving
and I must have lost my mind;
I had a salad with bleu cheese
and ordered extra fries,
I ate a plate with extra beans,
I must have had big eyes.
The waiter asked if we would like
some sweet things for dessert,
I ordered up a slice of pie
and spilled some on my shirt.
We drove back to the office
which is when I think it hit;
my stomach started growling
and was throwing quite a fit...
I figured it would go away
and ran to join a meet,
I soon learned just how wrong I was
when I sat in my seat...
I loosened up my belt a bit
to take the pressure off,
and when my stomach growled too loud
I hid it with a cough.
The pressure kept on building
as the meeting went on long,
and that is when I realized
that this could all go wrong.
I stood and said "excuse me"
'cause by then I had to go,
I tightened all my muscles then,
and hoped it wouldn't show.
I waddled to the conference door
and quickly stepped outside,
I knew I had mere seconds left
to find a place to hide.
With privacy just out of reach
and pressure far too great,
I had to let a little out
before it was too late.
I took a step to get relief,
relaxed and let 'er rip,
but then I couldn't help myself
and felt the whole thing slip.
The sound I made was deafening,
it shook the office walls,
but that was not the worst of it,
as smell filled up the halls.
I couldn't hold it in no more
my body lost control,
I had to make a break for it
before it took it's toll.
Perhaps too late I made a break
and finally found a door,
I pushed on through and found fresh air
and let loose with some more.
I found my car and got inside,
and drove fast as I could,
It wasn't long before I found
I let more than I should.
My day was done, my time was lost
and so my dignity,
the moral of this story
should be more than plain to see:
go out to lunch and take a break
but don't eat the whole cart,
'cause you might find that if you do
you may do more than fart.
.
.
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Poem Info:
1. Written: 12.25.18
2. Written for the "Let 'Er Rip" poetry contest on PoetrySoup.com sponsored by John lawless.
Copyright © Cary Snowden | Year Posted 2018
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