Funny Rude Poems

There once was a young man from Szechwan,
who thought his dick looked like a pecan.
He met a cutie named Butts,			
who was hankering for nuts,		
so he...

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Prelude to what…..

I see you,  /  you / yes, come into my…… 
laboratory of alchemist mystical languaging.
where arsenic spills into the whirlpool of...

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Timmy developed bad hay-fever
He saw the doctor for some tabs
No medication seem to work for him
He tried everything the pharmacy had

Another problem soon arose 
For...

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I wanted to leave the world behind,
But she said, "I want our story to be romanticized".
So I buried us alive, side by side.
...

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Dumpers
The gal with the **** cannon
Let’s one rip a right good fart
You can smell it from here
It smells of baked beans
And mushy peas plus cabbage
I...

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**** Hat

The American was an **** hat

A real screw ball idiot

Who didn’t care what people thought

She did this and that what she wanted

A new tattoo...

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A surgeon dreams of slicing livers.
A dentist dreams of teeth and gums.
Proctologists envision fingers
and thumbs....

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A vicar once said to a nun
Why don’t you and me have some fun
She yawned and said, “Look,
I’ve got the good book,
So, just let me...

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Lewd Louie came from Windy City
he went straight for the nitty gritty
	got fresh with Margo
	who told her man Beau
who kicked his a** with rhythmicity...

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Her face showed he'd come off as predal
Now it was too late to backpedal
"Stupid wins prizes,"
She shouts, "of all sizes,"
Her handprint now worn like a...

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From your head down to your toes
I'll be kissing you all day.
But may become distracted
and only get halfway....

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A knee-Imprisoning Marsh 
And Labor-Demanding Field;
Not agriculturally harsh
But planters forcing to fitness wield …

Rice farmers decide to be rude,
A hundred in an ugly mood.
“Blast Mr....

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A woman crouched upon the floor,
retrieving something, near the door.

I walked into the busy shop, 
while talking to my mum,
I hadn't seen the woman there...

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"What are you doing here?"
"I'm standing here."
"Can't you read? It says no loitering!"
"I'm not loitering, I'm standing."
"Standing is loitering!"
"Can I sit on the ground then?"
"No!...

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I've got a mate called Mick,
With an appendage like my forearm.
He's got no wit or personality,
Not even an ounce of charm,
But the ladies all still...

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