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Family Love Lesson

I'm lost for words, do I suppose to feel this way about my detached family
Mother and brother with their weird dynamic duo relationship
My father has a whole another family or two he's managing 
Perplexed by my young adult children with their selfish ways towards me
My love has been taken for granted; betrayed by conditional lovers
I loved them unconditionally with all my heart still to this present day
The way I've been treated, had me to become numb to silent
The DNA test seems only good for ancestry or hidden family connections
"Blood thicker than mud" is just an illusion to me when it comes to my family
I would have been more relieved if I was adopted; detachment explained  

At this present time I'm homeless without any genuine help
My mom want me around because she's lonely a lot of the times
My father lost for words most of the times we converse
Brother want me around to show off and brag about what I don't have
Daughter want me around for emergency baby sitter for her children
Son locked up and need me to keep account with commissary monies   
I asked out loud, "Why would I be in a family dynamic like this"
The energy is heavy and draining when I'm in any of there presence
Knowing I deserve better, but not feeling spiteful or resentment
My family was all I knew; now realizing I have to let them go

Lesson that love is not suppose to cause pain, confusion or revenge 
Lesson to stop love from being the core for change in my world
Lesson how forces work through your family to discredit love
Lesson of dark generational curse to stray me to hate for self destruction
Lesson for a practice run to prepare for a family life I deserve
Lesson to destroy me as a soul with love for humanity(unity)
Lesson for hate to be inflicted to weight heavy on my heart
Lesson to give up on love, turn to materialism
Lesson of survival to be an example of a spiritual warrior
It was lessons for courage to survive with unconditional love for self/others

Despite the fated lessons still I smile with gratitude
Evolution at its finest as lessons stimulate my growth to remain in love
All is forgiven; no hard feelings and love(GOD) will always live within me.



Copyright © Monulita Boey

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