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New Instructions
If you’re planning to go to heaven
don’t expect to be greeted by St. Peter,
he’s been replaced by a new computerized
entry system installed into a pearly gate.
Each hopeful entrant will first have to
learn how to use it, of course; but rest
assured, it’s been designed for maximum
efficiency and is user friendly. Just follow
the seven easy instructions posted in
hundreds of languages to guarantee
quick entry where bliss awaits one and all.
Here’s how it works:
• If you know you are saved, press 1.
• If you’re not sure but want to be, press 2.
• If you think you are unworthy, press 3.
• If atheist or agnostic, press 4.
• If none of the above, press 5.
• If you are short on patience and humility, press 6
and hold; a representative will assist you.
And be aware that your conversation
will be recorded for review purposes.
Copyright ©
Maurice Rigoler
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