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My Elder Sister

[ M y  h a p i n e s s  i s  y o u r  s m i l e ]
…
The universe has burdened yet blessed me with life; throughout the seasons of my being, I’ve been met with discouragement, depression, and insecurity, yet shone through that was happiness and a sense of hope. I’ve struggled, being barricaded amidst my problems, yet I’ve lived, letting life’s events pass with time.
Not many people can say they’re aware of this; the image I display of myself is quite different from my true being. I’ve been called flawless, because others simply haven’t witnessed my imperfections. To those who have, many are repulsed, leaving me or shaming me for the broken person I am; but I’m happy, and my true friends realize that.
She is not just my true friend; she is my best friend. She’s not only my sibling, she’s the cause of hope through my eternal suffering.
I will always put her happiness over mine; with the possibility of a dark occurrence, I would make sure she’s viewing the light only. I would fall millions of times for her to walk a single step, perpetually drowning to ensure that she can swim.
The thought has lingered in my head-- that I’m horrible, but I feel as if it’s confirmed. She’s so perfect, and we share no similarities. She’s immaculate; her every step laced with grace, yet I’m an awkward klutz who seems to trip on every path. I wish I knew why she loves me; what makes her think I’m worthy. I think she’s amazing, but I’m nothing like her-- so I perpetually wonder why she’s kind to me, why she thinks I deserve an ounce of happiness-
I would give her every chemical of serotonin I possess. I adore her; and as I bid farewell, I see not my sibling leaving me, but a part of me, too.


Copyright © Reya Suri

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