I am a grossly overweight midget
of later years.
I have a penchant for funny women,
the absurd,
and baked goods.
I have 826 thousand dollars in the bank
and a dose of psoriasis.
My personality is that of a freight train
with two, loose wheels.
I must use bag balm
on my undercarriage and
moisturizers on my elbows.
I burn with barbaric breathing and sweat.
My reptile heart is that of a porkyitalian lover.
I can beat out a double-paradiddle on a snare drum,
or compose electronic pieces.
My time is best passed writing,
and romping
with my 4-legged friends.
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If you don't already know, ABOUT ME
usually refers to a section of a web site or
BLOG that tells about the author. This is
parody, BTW.