The heat creeps into the empty fabric
only getting colder
inside the tightly closed gray jacket
no warmth of jokes and laughter
nor embraces that are increasingly glowing
please, close your eyes for a moment
let me kiss between your reddened eyelids
bitterness of isolation
And if it's tomorrow
take the time for a final greeting
when I'm still stuck at the end of the road
so that the pressure on our shoulders will lighten
If it's still 20 counts
let's turn away before the bitterness ends and silences
before regret and suffocation grip us even more
before forgiveness and love are expressed again
Last night was no different
I cried myself to sleep again
I haven't fallen asleep peacefully
Since cannot remember when
My broken heart it pains me
And I can't keep the tears away
Maybe my heart will heal soon
But today will not be that day
I'm empty without your love
Im left feeling barren inside
It's not just a broken heart
It's a part of my soul that died
Maybe I loved you more
Then I could ever show
I believe I may love you
More than even I know
Know im lonely without you
I'm clinging to your memory
I think it makes this worse
I've been consumed by misery
I saw misery
in three horses
huddled in the corner
of a paddock -
cold, rainsoaked
they stood motionless
in the open
heads turned towards
a large tree
with its wide canopy
a few lengths away
on the other side
of a barbed wire fence.
Trouble created by
People
Solve by
People
Diseases created by
People
Cured by
People
Then they become boastful.
Know what
You're made for
So; you don't
Settle for
What you're prey to or for.
Every breath is a blessing
Every air lesson
As you inhale and exhale
You realize the value of breath
If you don't know
What you were made for
You'll settle and die for
What they want from you.
You told me it wasn’t too late
that I could still mend the cracks.
But it feels like I’ve been losing you
long before the truth escaped your lips.
Only God is my ally now,
and to Him I surrender everything,
so I can have your love
back again.
How did I become your misery?
How did my words turn empty?
How did I become… this?
All I wished
was to be your everything,
but it turns out
I was never enough.
You never found
what you needed the most.
If I disappeared in this lifetime,
maybe it would be better
so I’d only be
a memory,
and not your misery.
Am I too late to fix things?
Have I lost you?
Have you fallen out of love?
Is this what God has written for us?
Am I the only one to blame?
I have so many questions
but I truly thought I gave everything.
How will I move on
if I ever let you go?
I can’t live knowing
you longed for someone else,
or even dreamed
of finding peace in her arms.
Did I push you so far away?
I had no idea this was happening,
or maybe I was too blind
with all the love you gave me.
My heart feels shattered,
it wants to die.
It would rather die
than not have you.
You told me
this wasn’t love, but obsession.
If that’s true,
why did I, at some point,
wish you’d find happiness
even if it wasn’t with me
because I believed
I was your misery?
How did we come to this, my love?
We were each other’s world.
You were my full moon.
Oh death
The fear of countless souls
I adore your kiss
I need you close
When will we meet?
When shall you come?
It's too long a wait
Please come tonight
I don't know you
I know life is a tsunami
Perhaps you can rescue me
Where shall we meet?
Oh life
The lover of the lifeless
I've honored your presence
I gave you my all
Why you misled me, lover?
Why toss me into lava?
It's too long a wait
Get out of my sight
It's as if I know you
I heard that death is a fortune
You ruthlessly fried my liver
No time for reversal
Better the joy from dying
Worse the misery from living
Free my feet from tight shoes
My toes from hammering heat
I can hear the darkness sing
Better the joy! Worse the misery!
Oh life and death
You're all my friends
Like the sheep sharing a shepherd
Fighting firmly on the loose land —
Dear earth, why you betrayed me?
Dear hell, how will you come?
With a billion eyes, I've tasted
The two colors yearning for balance
The lovely world into balance
I need no life
I need no death
I need a midpoint!
The Misery You Crave
My dying day
The misery you crave
Run with me
The world is ending
Bleed with me
A storm is brewing
Stay with me until the end
The night is appetizing
Who knows if we have tomorrow
Embrace the darkness
Don’t leave me crawling alone
Never let go
Rise above the ashes
This dying die is ours
Buildings are burning all around
We are unforgiven
Candles are burning for us
I am the misery you crave
The sky is falling,
Only memories remain
Along this misery coil
Dust drifting on currents ebbing in
Approaching storms, lightning
flickering is sheets along thunderheads
That builds on a hot summer evening
Along this misery coil
The humidity drips from the flesh like oil
A hot engines scream with steam
Billowing into the twilight sky
Vacant windows with odd old
yellow lights wink on
In the hot evening
Burning tonight
Along this misery coil
Shadows slide along walls
Old n odd along the hollow ground
A sliver of silver flashes into the humid
Unforgiving night, as dark clouds
Pass on to a horizon vast, a white moon comes
On a hot summer evening, shines
Humid, pale light glows softly under the
Indigo sky, streetlights flickering
Slick silver rain falling, tumbling into wells vast
Headlights slice through the murky, muggy air
Along this misery coil, shadows fail.
Surrounded by strangers who love me.
[Un]strangers made strange by pain.
Words the same as always, the same as nothing, when nothing is the same.
Lost and last to know; lost and last to love.
I am the last one lost.
For you cannot see even a bubble; once it is popped.
Falling not flying.
One lost, bloody word, like the lost worlds between you and me.
We love what we love and who.
We love who we love and why.
We love why we love and find a falling shoelace knotted & strung between the fingers of strangers.
Strangers made strange by love.
With arms around me: dancing and hurried.
I see your face: pale and worried.
Bargaining with a life that isn't mine to bargain with isn't a bargain at all.
But, misery doesn't come cheap.
Now, I've found the missing piece.
My breath; my heart; my memory.
Me.
The other half, the missing half.
Entombed by the laws of physics; the laws of love.
Of time and space and the [in]between place.
[In]between you and me and where we are.
Because, I'm lost and looking; looking & lost.
Life is but a song of sorrows,
Days can feel like miserable melodies.
Our heartstrings plucked,
Chords that resonate with tragedy.
The beating drum, a dark percussion,
Can serve as rhythm to the chorus of our love and joy.
That which is memorized by heart,
In every generation, the song is sung.
In every life, a note is played—
Lows entwined with our highest moments,
Giving credence to suffering,
Unifying our spirits in a grand orchestra,
Composing a symphony of our very soul.
Is a chance either against fate or destiny,
It often looks like a planned movie that might end in everyone's favor,
The words are beginning to be buried in our heads,
The pledges ain't really made, they are just structures build on maybe,
What if the dreams had, falls on an unfertile soil,
What if all the efforts turns to waste,
What if all the pains endured becomes vain,
What if all the hard works ends up killing,
What if, she left at the edge of misery,
What if she becomes too classic to stay,
What if all her words are just cheap stones,
What if her love fades away,
What if the light refuses to regenerate,
What if the desires are unfulfilled,
What if the man in the future never becomes a reality,
What if the gold never comes,
What if, what if, what if,
The fears are not dying but growing,
The once red flaming faith dies gradually,
The ego of love turns an ego of anxiety and worries,
Oh, the soul seeks solace,
The silent heart, the trust it feels might soon be gone,
The strings in which hope hangs might soon be a nightmare,
Oh, what if all these happens.
A petition has intiaton.' On border soverigenity.' Midst angst
And supposition ? In one dimention flow of people..Has
Been a staple, before Noah sailed over the silenced; and hidden
Creations.' Yet subject to conditions i e ( travellers funding
Available craft? the (prevailing tides and seasons ) allowing
Integration, of benefit to any nation.' Any artifice; or abberation
Type's Cannot justify, it is my inclination.' Only in the 1700s
Enslaved peoples in ( massed movement ) mirror of the
Current.' And did such not cause misery.? The 1970's
Was a purging, a cathartic stage' of (that un-normal) un-needed instancy.) driven by such materialistic social engineering originally.!
In a certainty of lunacy.' So in Britian late 2024 a petion is
Now set forth.' To seal all borders for a full five years course.' In normal
Times such would be ludicrous.' Yet in consideration of what we see' with
All the currant human misery..' It now appears most judicious and not at all Im-prudent; to use.' as i can see.)
I have inked my verses
All day for so long
Poured my soul in pages
But got nothing in return
For being a full time poet
Poverty has ruined my life
Crippled my very spirit
Humiliation and neglect
follows me everywhere
My wrinkles and weary eyes
Speak of misery and destitution
So I have decided
To forsake my pen
Destroy all my works
Delete from memory
That once I was a bard
My verses will die with me
As I perform their last rites
Since writing has got me nowhere.
I grab myself a coffee cup
To drink the sorrow away
Sip by sip, to the final drop
My mind is led astray
Drive the frigid cold aside
To keep my pulse from being still
And free the fantasies I hide
Infuse my heart devoid of thrill
Bliss I find in but a spoon
What more if I swig all it in
Though surely this would all end soon
I'll stake for just one unforced grin
Cup per cup, I crave for more
Of this rich drug I slowly kill
Without hesitation, again I pour
'Till I begin to hold what's real
And thus the truth would set me free
That she won't ever seek my name
Whilst I might drown in coffee sea
Still she will never feel the same
-
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