they do
and sheep possess concentration levels
that allow them to watch television
which is extraordinary
and so is broccoli
i like polo mints
my daughter calls them doughnut mints
her favourite book is called 'stop that cow'
which involves a 357 mag with an 8-inch barrel
a pig in a forty-nine dollar wig
the agitated cow asks, "you wouldn't happen to have
a pack of cigarettes."
the guinea hog replies, "i don't smoke."
"i didn't think so."
i met my best friend in a cafe
he told me statistics mean nothing
She died, so we're riding behind the hearse one car back.
"Would you like a breath mint?", asks a woman dressed in black.
Why at a death does someone offer a minty tic tac?
She died so we're riding behind the hearse one car back.
Beth died last week after suffering a heart attack.
Please tell me why mints and death combine a dismal fact.
She died, so we're riding behind the hearse one car back.
"Would you like a breath mint?", asks a woman dressed in black.
I am running around breathlessly, trying to do it all.
There are followers, admirers, helpers but this is my fantasy.
An orphanage, a dog shelter, and a home for unwed mothers.
It is the sixties, when they were tormented and abused for being so.
Add a movie theater, a skating rink and a dance studio I call to an assistant.
She jots some notes and hurries away, toward the children’s clown college.
“What can I do?” Dirk, one of my most persistent fawners asks.
Can you feed the sheep? Goats? Missouri mules?
He nods and runs off happy.
I am still walking at a brisk clip,
checking things out, making sure they are right.
My assistant’s assistant runs over to ask “popcorn in the theaters?
And Junior Mints, I tell him.
“And I want that theater built by tomorrow night.”
All possible when you are a nine-year-old child
But how in the hell did I know about unwed mothers?
This was 1961, and my parents told me nothing.
I still ponder this recurring dream I had every night for a year.
Tossing mints in a t-rex mouth,
his calamitous breath smells good,
as the terrible lizard rolls you South,
delighting in his wintergreen food.
Thankfully this monstrosity of a sweet-tooth Rex
rejects his diet of flesh and menthol as vomitus.
Relating voluminously to Jonah - you’re a wreck.
You slide off the belching tongue in slovenly gravitas.
You run as his roar, like a refreshing wind,
scores its daily fear and loathing.
This close encounter with your courage thinned,
avoiding an impression without a stitch of clothing.
3/15/2019
If you thought me insane, it'd be a start...
If you thought me funny, a joke...
But if you were to think simply nothing of me...
I'd eventually go up in smoke.