Long Spic Poems

Long Spic Poems. Below are the most popular long Spic by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Spic poems by poem length and keyword.


Housekeeping Not a Strong Suit With the Missus

(***warning ungapatchka language ahead***)

Flush with rage the spouse will become allied
if reference made how she buzzfeeds disorder
altercation especially likely if divorce blurted
making me wish to experience (immediately)
bartered bride, when mine pointed finger doth
nonverbally chide markedly appalling untidy
predilection she blithely exhibits woeful scant
interest to maintain can-do spirit affecting plea

zing aesthetic humble abode ofttimes slacking
off cleaning trail of abomination, which talent
includes unwittingly cultivating qua primordial
soup possibly duplicating conditions when life
originated (bajillion years ago) on planet Earth
witnessed courtesy think gummy, groovy, gooey,
gloppy, (nippy, nap, noopy) protoplasmic slimy
oozing blob (starring Steve McQueen) amoeba

like swallowing small towns with names such as
Chester Springs, Downingtown, Phoenixville,
& Royersford hungering, hinting, and hankering
to hasten home hearing Harris harridan hooligan
hoopla conniption purportedly linked into order
issued courtesy board of health for hen pecking
wife to hustle & make house beautiful for Biden
(accompanied with hit parade) announcing (yea)

at long last Republican administration overhaul
which fête yours truly slated to host determined
(weeks ago), thus necessitating legally wedded
counterpart to apply elbow grease in tandem to
render spic & span where unsightly food scraps,
soiled clothes, scattered papers, et cetera strewn
helter skelter, the disarray the culmination of 4+
years occupying these digs in Schwenksville, Pa.

Upon being told "get the place in ship shape order"
she went ballistic like bupkis fired out me gluteus
maximus, (whereat I couldn't help but think ICBM)
yea, an incongruous thought as she rattled vitriolic,
colorful expletives coarse language enough would
make sailor blush shutting his yapper uttering before
he even uttered "shiver me timbers," hence clatter
and din created cacophonous noise as my fair lady

affected one woman siege warfare as pots and pans
flew pell mell thru air while I took refuge in fallout
shelter unused since total mortal kombat destroyed
major swath of webbed wide world, global debacle
our dear leader triggered (when in pensive mood) he
lobbed weapons of mass destruction after being axed
to "go back home" meaning his mother planet Uranus.


I sing the praises of Sterilite

I sing the praises of Sterilite

(even Mary Poppins would tout
a plug for said company she would spout
forcing playthings scattered helter skelter
retreating into their respective bins
analogous to a defeated army
beating a hasty retreat after a major rout
against all odds fighting off
the aggressive incursion
of a trumpeting lout,
which troops use weapon of choice
namely breath issuing "Kraut"
which in German, "Kraut"
primarily means herb
or the leaves and stem
of a plant, as opposed to the root,
also used in compound nouns
to refer to various cabbage products,
most notably Sauerkraut,
which is fermented white cabbage.

Additionally, "Kraut"
can be a derogatory slang term
for Germans, similar to how "Frogs"
used for the French,
according to The Guardian).
which accolades vocalized
on behalf of a company
whose sturdy products
helped transform the wife
from a potential candidate
of Hoarders buried alive
into a rival for the Odd Couple
neatnik character Felix Unger
though room for improvement
the spouse tries to abide
by the phrase
"a place for everything
and everything in its place"
an idiom that promotes
organization and orderliness,
where maximizing the space
afforded by a one bedroom apartment
here at Highland Manor
taught us the necessity
of maintaining an ever closer approximation
to becoming the reigning queen
of spic and span
affected by the mandates of management
(reinforced by dictates
of urban housing for low income
linkedin to yearly "violations")
toward instilling acquiring
"the model tenant award"
by regular inspections
which if I ruled the world
would include a month of free rent
as an extra incentive
leaving no room
for the likes of Oscar Madison,
which objective becoming
neat and tidy truth be told
finds me relishing living
according to the gospel
of several people offering
decluttering and organization methods
similar to Marie Kondo's KonMari approach,
focusing on simplifying and creating
a more joyful living space.

Some notable figures
include Gretchen Rubin,
known for her
"Outer Order, Inner Calm"
philosophy, and The Home Edit duo,
Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin,
who emphasize visual organization.

Other methods, like Swedish Death Cleaning
and Peter Walsh's approach,
also offer alternative strategies
for decluttering and organizing one's home.

Kaos In -Part 1-

I got fired
For being awarded Most Desired 
The truth got liared
I got tired by the fact that you are wired
A different way than me
Why can't they clearly see
That I'll make a difference in this world of labels?
This world is like a wifi that has been running on a ticking bomb of jacked up cables 

Going thru a relapse of suicidal thots before and after
I hand you flowers of forgive-me-please after a disaster
After a rainstorm comes a rainbow of radiance,
A tragedy in reverse...a miracle cure, a prance dance - enhance my joy with Royal elegance 

Loyal me up as soon as I give in to my old ways (that's what's up) 
Cuz I've been unfaithful...mhm, truth sincerely hurts
To You, him, and her and I feel like giving up...I'm a filthy cup in the dishwasher, but I will be a spic-and-span cup (it shocks me to know many have given up so easily...I'm a whimpering pup)
I've been acting ungrateful...I'm inside out shirts...
I'm in my doom-gloom dorm,
Keeping warm through it all...I've crashed due to an epic fall or an accidental fantastic fail 
I'm an weird, empty Earth worm
Seeping through the wooden floors that are as tough as a well-built wall...you're a tough trail to tread...I'm a message never sent by mail 

Got crazy 
A lil lazy 
Got naturally hazy
Off of hyper wild-child
Inside me - so not mild
For a while, my mind has been piled
With nonsensical, fickle desire of my elevating empire 
I am home with my cheesy nachos on my lap while singing "Girl on Fire"
I'm higher than the clouds cuz I'm high off of laughter and bliss...something I cherish and admire 

It's cool to be real 
It's not legit to be fake
Ah yeah, it's not a big deal
Hit the brake for my sake 

Regret nothing
Quit that fussing
You're my everything
Carry on, do your thang 
Off you trot
Don't let me Rot
On the spotlight...
Tonight...despite your black and white ways of sparkling spite and under-your-spell might that shines so bright and it's wrong when it's right 

I'm a kid without his kite 
Stab me with love-me-not loathe - I can take it without throwing a childish fit with a mature kit with freezing fire foolwit
I'm sorry - I feel like shite 
I know I broke the friendship oath - I still luv u a bit, I must admit

Song of The Mafiosa President Gone Wild

(* WARNING * adult content and Humor and for the Christians: Consult your Strong's concordance for the word: "MAMMON" )
________________


Call Me WHAT?!*°
not to alarm- "Injun" . . . "Nigga" . . . "Spic"
mumbles no harm

Just get your £µckin' money off my neck!

Skinny dis'n' bi|ch'nz¹
be' spittin' un'a moon
hidin' from bull-whip'nz
now "Lawz" bull-shiz'n too

Butt: Je zuz . . .
donne you He zuz
way'z da pac
geet deez £µçkin' moneys off ma back

and your heaven
same as you
split in two
black and white so
what's a brown to do

come Hell Orleans high-water
save us from the purgatory cue

AFTERLIFES A BEACH®

aint no money there
dem streets be stuck'um gold
seems a little cold
but nothing good is rare
no need to keep a neash
so keep my faith "on speck" . . . 

THAT'S RICH!

Just get your £µckin' money off my neck

(Oh FEED ME Washin' twinny-beans
COME HELL'S HIGH HOLY HOOPS
da' be gov'mint shack'um queens
snackin' on yo' peasent dupes).

and now dat o' yo' dolla's to colostomers has trucked
how you beez No-meri'ca, now dat you be £µcked
Can you say:

"Build That £µckin' Wall, Don Presidenté Daffy Duck"!

and all the good bright teachers said
America wont last
now will someone pull this £µcking wall street banker out my ass

and by the £µckin' way,
you patchouli farting punk,
get those £µckin' money-bags
out my £µckin' trunk!


__________

Notes:

The Republican Party has become the Plutocratic Party representing the approbation of money/power as the fundamental, ideal state; its systematic usurpation of American democracy is the real threat to our Liberty and not "Communism"!

Donald Trump failed his office by: EXCEEDING HIS CONSTITUTIONAL POWERS and now must received THE SAME LEGAL TREATMENT as any other citizen!

FIX CAPITALISM NOW OR WE MARXISTS' AND THE PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION WILL!

[ https: prospect.org/economy/rise-of-neo-feudalism/ ] ______________ 

1. If "The Brothers" call themselves "Dogs", then it follows logically to refer to their females as "Bi|chez". If you "strike" their words, you diminish their community, forcing them to waste precious energy creating other ways to say the same thing so . . .
Form: Didactic

Mo' Fun Than Three Ringed Circuits

Poof issued from invisible magic dragon,
which nobody dead sea
immediately disrupting electricity
whereat mice elf (Stuart Little), i.e. me,
no particular rhyme nor reason
called Mickey, plus the missus Minnie

found ourselves literally
in the dark, no pleasant thrill
as well adjacent community
named Maple Hill
approximately few hundred

residents in toto ill
nope, no light to busy
sanity claws writing with quill
thus no alternative,
but forced to remain stock still,
the provolone ideal time

to look for cheeses crust
or crumbs, cuz thankfully tenant
occupying unit b44  never dust
nor keep their apartment
spic and span trust

ting bulge of debris under the rug
not seen by jail warden this August
two thousand nineteen,
cuz she would most likely bust
with anger, which would
bubble forth analogous just

like when volcanoes blow
off their high top
most lava lee phenomenon
unforgettable did stop
people dead in their tracks
saw Pompeii pop
yule lore for tourists to shop
for timeless dude dads till they drop

similar to yours truly at my behest
recently awoken from rest
earlier could chest
barely breathe suffocating blessed
not only mister

and missus expressed
above regarding power outage no jest
gasping for air oppressed
without electricity - society at mercy
to guarantee life hums along

without power to the people,
I forthrightly attest
idyllic climate controlled nest
comes to screeching halt
creature comfort amenities rest

at peace as if lightly
sucked by black hole
this primate unaccustomed to test
his brittle mettle,
and loathed experiment

conducted by fates forced to sweat
approximately twelve long hours est
tab bull lest
stark admittance, I would be carrion
eh, a mere snack

if archaeopteryx made guest
appearance, a quest
going awry see Jurassic Park
object lesson aye did wrest
maybe genetic tinkering,
yes think GMO

microchipped *****sapiens
created with ablest
means to weather severing
how 21st century civilization did invest
ingenious dependence banked upon,
where electrons get fervently pressed.


Not Fake News This Just In

FROM BIKINI BOTTOM TIMES...

...Spongebob Squarepants...what...atoll...?
plunged into where,...no way...toilet bowl...
supposedly, when the ghostly hand ex-toll
ling praise from his late creator, and master

meow mind of popular Stephen Hillenburg
cast said main character in clean new role,
an unexpected greasy, grimy, grisly, grouchy,
grungy gruff peagreen pissed off potty troll

snatched the unsuspecting 
cheerful happy go lucky
animated fellow, who lives 
in a pineapple under sea

(at 124 Conch Street) quite 
self absorbed with Gary
his pet snail (not answering 
questions at this time), we

understand emotional devastation,...
and possibly got flushed....sniffling
and sobbing heard...discontinuation,
this could wreak something
offal to all those avid landlubber

fans (many grownups) cling
to cautious optimism, but accept
vigilant prayers believing
quirk of fate could turn tide
of events & cannot dismiss linking

Russian collusion with attendant
rogues gallery, nor abandoning
any in house political conspiracy,
where top Navy brass calling
attention to an uncommonly

unusual migrant barnacles casing
with doddering fogey "Watergate
Plumbers" in tow absconding
before they could be apprehended
(hmm... something seems fishy)

haint no logical explanation, why
anyone would seek squeeze zing
the porous life out of such a
lovable...how unsinkable... accosting
...argh das spic and span hubble...

such a congenial, gentle, likable...
made himself come to life, (and
make believe to fans) achieving
he really existed, when birthed
from figment of imagination aching

tub be accepted and loved (by other
than Mister Rogers) acquiring
water world renown purportedly
slated to receive Krusty Krab shape
formica plaque engraved with his

name inlaid with finest enameling,
meanwhile...stay tuned at amazing
undrying resiliency as saturated media
updates how beloved soaking  
hero does wetter adversity!

Still Rejected

1/16/23


Still rejected
I already did mention
Much is in question
In the end most won't get the message
I'm tired of all this tension
Too much focus on others skin complexions
Never once has this path been effective
Do such fools need a punch or bullet to the midsection?
Meaning is the answer a fist or weapon?
For there to be change for the better it's no myth or legend

When necessary I went beastmode
Crap focused on and important matters vetoed
Can't just solve it with cheat codes
Meanwhile continually heat rose
People fighting each other sometimes using torpedoes
All of this continual s*** seems old
Like the same old stories all these priests told

So fast they reach for a couple tissues
Meanwhile the struggle continues
Still dealing with much more than just trust issues

Lady, don't play me I'm not the one
No need to be on the run 
I wanted love
Yet have gotten none
From dawn to dusk
I've had rotten luck
They judge and talk too much
I'm going beyond such
Petty matters, yet can't always rely on a hunch
For far too long was caught and stuck
Still continual odd stuff
So easily people go on the hunt
Quick to cause a lot of funk

A lot assume
While holding a hostile view
Among all these molecules
I've got more trust in a dog then you
If you don't got a clue
There was much marijuana use
I'm an alcoholic who
Spent much time in solitude
Occasionally a brief rendezvous
Meanwhile global conflicts grew
Don't test me or there'll be a sonic boom
All of it being told from an honest view
Watch your moves
Toward danger it's chalked up to

Drying up or rivers ran
Nearly always the bigger man
Ambidextrous, either one is a trigger hand
They never once saw the whole picture damn
They expected it all to be spic and span
Life throwing curveballs, despite what is or isn't planned
I've got much to do, before I kick the can
Meanwhile time keeps ticking, quickly it can hit the fan
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Gotta Take Care of Me

These days my home is a disaster where no neatness is mastered.
For years I did the spic and span scene for a spouse who notices 
only the TV screen and our part alien, completely annoying teens.
I eventually deciphered my efforts made none of them nicer or wiser.

I realized that to remain a cleanliness and organizer striver                      would sooner than later require I take a daily tranquilizer.
In time, I learned my bed was quite a smart desire and the 
art of long naps was my perfect mood equalizer.  So, why brood
over other family member's feelings when my own felt nicer.

There was a time when dust bunnies reduced me to shame
but, now they’re just fluffy cuties that I individually name.
Whereas I once frequently behaved like a total grump
because all treated our dining table like the local dump,
I now idly ponder when the pile will style a solid ceiling thump.

Home-nest chores of potential upset-tests no longer interest my 
new style, but soaking in the tub attracts my delight worthwhile.
My bathroom has become my private, pampering isle.
Magazines to thoroughly savor, tempt me in a dream-flavored pile.
Within that little room I’m managing a pampering cocoon.

Once upon my stress time, I would be cryin’ over clothes 
not ironed and family tried neither soothing or inspiring me.
These days my ironing policy is that such is pure folly
and that only laundered attire need be desired.  I no longer 
grow vacuum sore ‘cause rooms are too trashed for dirt to hit floors.
                        
I am learning to keep my child-like, spontaneous smile
despite any and all house or family trials.
If in this lesson I succeed, that’s all I really, truly and mostly need.
I wish to live and love centered in a state of relaxed
‘cause that’s where my spic and span are truly at.
Form: Lyric

Premium Member Walton's Scrapyard

Walton’s Scrapyard

Mr Walton was our local scrap man
He wore a great big hat
His yard was squeezed between 
Two terraced houses
And I was always amazed at that

The yard was full of junk
Rusting scrap
And old tat
Tangled up and piled up high
That was fascinating to a Nipper
Like I

Old bicycle frames 
Bits off boats
Bits off trains
Twin tubs boilers 
Old wire old prams 
Parts from a lorry and caravan
Wagon wheels  and engine blocks
Infarct If it wasn’t there
It didn’t exist 
Because he had the lot 

At the back of the yard built up high
He had a pigeon loft aloft
A rat fest I’m pretty sure
I used to watch his pigeons fly around in flocks
Thirty forty Racing pigeons
Maybe more

Us Nippers would scavenge the common
Lie marauding Vikings
Pillaging tips and hedgerow
For metal to be weighed down
To make a few pennies
Or even half a crown

Copper and lead
Made the most brass
And suddenly things went missing
From the White city fast
Mysteriously

A bike left carelessly by a door
Old boiler and wires from an empty house
Piping under the floor
The garden swing
 From next door
Please don’t tell
But anything we could sell

Your Mum would turn around 
To wash your clothes
Washing machine gone
Just a leaky hose

We’d burn the plastic of the copper wire
That stunk worse than a burning tyre
Tie it in nots or twists
Put it in a sack
And that was that

Off to Mr Walton's
Happy as Larry to weigh it in
And come out 
With a pocket full of pennies
In us shorts and a grin

Merrily we’d go
Off toward the sunset
Toe to toe
To the Beeroff
To buy some pop
Spic and fags
With our dough

Yes, we liked to borrow things in those days
Unlike the kids of today
Ooh how shocking.








Peter Dome©2019.
© Peter Dome  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Verse

Premium Member Domestic-Clean Vaccine

Ladies - Gents, hear this that I may increase your leisure benefits!
All who have labored for cleanliness, for a spic and span to savor,
please allow me now to do you the most ginormous of favors … 

Sweep, vacuum, scrub, dust, mop … have those acts ever pissed you off?
Cleaning is tough, especially rough ‘cause results don’t last long enough.
I see from your faces, you know what I mean - allow me to paint a scene:

Your kitchen floor has not one speck, not a smudge or spot nub to detect,
and it is, oh, so sweet walking that floor in your bare feet - - -
then SUDDENLY a duty is stuck to your foot, some wretched crumb of vagrant soot, a speck intruder you would gladly, madly shoot!
Well, lean in close for I can transpose the major bummer of gross into …
rewarding, fulfilling, long lasting domestic prose!
This can, this light weight can and its sprayed, domestic changing dose
keeps rooms as pristine as when newly, fully cleaned, YES, from den
to latrine to hall, it guards clean in all, even door frames and walls!!
Just spray, walk away, and this anti-dirt, clean hold vaccine, THIS spray,
right here, in my hand will, I vow, grant you a whopping wow; allow
this month-long guard warrior to protect your clean, EVEN toilet bowls
will maintain their sheen, EVEN toothpaste spit in haste – just forget it
'cause this spray, available this day with many ways to pay, won’t quit it! 

Just $9 a can, NO point ninety-nine that no one understands.





... CayCay
March 10, 2018
Form: Rhyme

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