Long Breathlessness Poems
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HUNGARIAN RHAPSODY
Her hand’s swan-like dance,
ivory shadow puppets
romance. Hungarian rhapsody.
The musician sans existence
as emotive fingers move
imaginary marionettes
with splendiferous precision.
Drama drops onto piano keys
occasionally taking a gentle stroll
then in sensuous sway, sashaying
like an exotic dancer. The musician
plucks and plinks as if
with chameleonic charm, like an
angel playing a harp.
Her fingers fast walk the keyboard
then resound tremulous keys.
(The audience swoons, spooned
by a rapturous torrent that enters
the heart, strokes and kisses
the yearning flesh, like the taste
and feel of brandy, burning and
tantalizing in breathlessness)
The musician’s slender fingers
now strum along in gaiety, like
paramours on the streets of Paris,
Springtime in the air. Palms nearly
rest upon silent keys as if two lovers
lay back upon a bed with puffs of smoke.
Dawn’s crescendo, with peaks of happiness
reside upon streets of ebony and ivory.
Life’s serendipitous monologue begins
once more with foreboding or adventure
or both. Is there loneliness upon this crest
for what has happenstance brought,
are they star-crossed? Do we see the sun
and the moon racing through their pulse —
days of birth and mourning?
(The blond marionette in concert black
seems to be mesmerized or hypnotized
by the muse of music. She’s like a dream
on a performance stage. Practiced in
illumination of flame. She releases the arrow
and the audience brightens up like a chandelier
with clinking and brilliant crystal pieces)
Happiness once again but with ferocious fervor
sends the keys to a heavenly place - to ears,
to mind, to soul...a cheer of a great parade,
and then the shivering of climatic peak,
followed by a lullaby of dreams - we imagine
a newborn wrapped up in a life well-lived.
The darling gal still doesn’t give up the ghost
but plays and plays...can you hear the needle
stuck at the vinyl’s end...spending all love gives?
Only the Creator Himself can lift the arm and
carry the musician still incubating all her charm.
3/19/2018
You have called with the wolf in the winter
planted trees that you will never see grow
and we have been a sunburst from clouds that shone
with the watered light of rainbows
Though you have cried within the breathlessness of splendour
we have walked in the canyons of fear
and found in this pursuit of forever
the eternal witness is all of us here
We have carried the harvest of our labour
all the fervour, the desires and the needs
and placed their testament forever beneath the feet of the free
And I have slept with you in the torpor that same proof to life’s drudgery
This is no more than a tale I’ve been living
and its no more than the book of your lives
oh my loves oh my loves
with you in this cavalcade of the sublime
I am there all of the time
carrying this banner of the core of our hearts
to the fields of deliverance
where hope never lost sight
of the parts that we play
in this human pageant leading the way
Holy Ghost in a sublime cavalcade
We have touched on the essence of being
and felt tremulous winds of belief
seen in the seed of love that had grown
where the face of innocence had been sown
You have grasped for a moment the conception
and held the angel of truth by his toe
the finger of God is creation
and the turbulent perfection of chaos perceived
Though we may lose our way in rendition
it is with us here all of the time
oh my loves oh my loves
it is with us here all of the time in this cavalcade of the sublime
These are merely the words of our searching
to voice this feeling of meaning behind all the things to which we aspire
it is the power of our conquest and failure
to carry the banner of our hearts to the fields
This is recognition of the role of our valour
blessed with the heavenly choir
oh my loves oh my loves
I am with you there all of the time in this cavalcade of the sublime
Marching and dawdling holding hand in hand
lost and redeemed
an orchestral vocation of our human band
as we traverse the annals of time
in the company of the sublime
lit by the light of a full moon
the breathlessness of a resolved heart
lies in still after the cunning dew
had tried to convince her death was cruel -
a last harvest-eve of doom and she should
fear to leave; … for life was hungry.
perched and hidden above small rounded stone
walls, unseen Life, we call death, hides in the gray
of cloaks, once too, like her, they were fleshed up
and deceived by their fear of the waters of an unwavering
moat chiseled out by gossiping clowns spreading lies
for boring bones to get arise; … for life was hungry.
behind motionless eyelids, she sleeps to death's
final good-night-grace: the entrance to a Life disguised
as a cold body fleeting in still rest on its final pilgrimage
to quest for more; and there between time and space, lies
the faithfulness of her beloved, who gratefully and patiently
waited for her return Home; … for life was hungry.
her, to be, imprisoning tombstone bore witness, along with
shadowy bleak mourning’s rising-ups to form long-cold and
narrowing pointed-staffs dividing widths within an inch of her life,
neither could stop her voice from beneath the gray cloak, as
she read her epitaph, “life has grazed here," " i was enticed by
the allure of exotic perfume smells from unassuming poisonous
petals, i was a naïve "spirit" in human form, i was seasoned
dread tenderly with the death of things;" "… for life was hungry."
unwittingly, in search of her lost love, she had lived a life of many true loves,
leaving them all alive, all dying of missing her love, all waiting impatiently
for the next warm body to amaze their eyes by the dazzling dancing jazz of a
smile. she has been life’s fork for the last time. life had used her to graze,
... for life was hungry!
now, everyday i die of missing her love;
and beyond, where the wine chills eternally
i fear, no one waits for me, … for life is hungry!
Defiled by being stuffed into a sac so tight,
A confinement that suffocates, a desperate plight.
Zipped to the end by thy very blood's own right,
A violent release, a nightmare of a cathartic sight.
With ignorance leaking out, the result of breathlessness became keen,
A state of deprivation, a struggle journeyed by love remained unseen.
Should the joy of winning be only sinfulness and sheen?
Then may failure be the light I look for, a guiding beam serene.
For failure would boost my zeal to give that sack a break,
To break free from the chains that bind, for my own sake.
I'd rise like waters beneath the porous soil, high in capillary wake,
Absorbing knowledge, filtering out through that zipped bag, life's noise and ache.
Surely
May I be the filter to dismantle ignorance and fear,
To sift through the noise, and find my own voice clear.
From absorbing too much water like the clayey soil so dear,
I'd learn to balance, to find my own soil, my own career.
That's life – a journey of twists and turns so grand,
A path that's fraught with challenges that test my hand.
But in the fire, I'd find my strength, my inner stand,
A resilience that's forged, a spirit that expands.
In the silence, I'd find my own sound and tone,
A voice that's unique, a melody that's my own.
I'd sing my own song, with every note and every moan,
A symphony of life, a journey to call my own.
The complexities of life, like a puzzle to unwind,
A riddle that's intricate, a mystery to design.
I'd search for answers, with every question and every find,
A journey of discovery, of growth and of mind.
And when the journey's done, and the path is clear and bright,
I'd look back on the struggles, and shed a tear in delight.
For I'd know that the struggles, the pain and the strife,
Were worth it, for they made me stronger, and cut through life.
Depression is an enemy, it does not have one friend,
Unannounced and uninvited it will gate crash and attend
Where it is not wanted, but has no heart to care
Stalks anyone and everyone, their very soul to bare
Depression likes to pull a person down
To make them feel they want to drown.
It b rings misery, pain, heartache and despair
Just try and stop it; it’s heartless; does not care
Loud heartbeat pulsing hard and so fast
Sweating and breathlessness , nerves aghast
Our friend depression takes great delight
It hovers around both in the day and night.
Body feels weighted and life seems to be on hold
But our friend Depression is so very bold
Stealthily it enters where angels fear to tread
Sometimes making you wish that you were dead.
Depression steals all feelings, makes your mind feel numb
You don’t want to talk to, go out or see anyone
Depression loves to see your streaming tears
Will try to take your mind over; it has no fears
Depression likes to wake you up in the middle of the night
To frighten you, to shake, you making sure it provides no light
Trembling you try to find a way to get out
In desperation you want to scream and shout
Depression takes no prisoners, it comes with all its might
To pressure you, to pull you down, but you have to learn to fight
Depression will not win, it must not win
To let depressions beat you would surely be a sin
Try to remember there are many others suffering like you
Hard to believe I know but sadly it is true.
You CAN beat depression so start from today
Knowing others are there to help support you alway.
Take deep breaths, hold your head up high, raise a smile
Depression will panic and run away, mile after mile
Choose positive thoughts, have hope, peace and faith
This will help ward off depression and WILL keep you safe
Barbara Brewin © 2009
Depression is an enemy, it does not have one friend,
Unannounced and uninvited it will gate crash and attend
Where it is not wanted, but has no heart to care
Stalks anyone and everyone, their very soul to bare
Depression likes to pull a person down
To make them feel they want to drown.
It b rings misery, pain, heartache and despair
Just try and stop it; it’s heartless; does not care
Loud heartbeat pulsing hard and so fast
Sweating and breathlessness , nerves aghast
Our friend depression takes great delight
It hovers around both in the day and night.
Body feels weighted and life seems to be on hold
But our friend Depression is so very bold
Stealthily it enters where angels fear to tread
Sometimes making you wish that you were dead.
Depression steals all feelings, makes your mind feel numb
You don’t want to talk to, go out or see anyone
Depression loves to see your streaming tears
Will try to take your mind over; it has no fears
Depression likes to wake you up in the middle of the night
To frighten you, to shake, you making sure it provides no light
Trembling you try to find a way to get out
In desperation you want to scream and shout
Depression takes no prisoners, it comes with all its might
To pressure you, to pull you down, but you have to learn to fight
Depression will not win, it must not win
To let depression beat you would surely be a sin
Try to remember there are many others suffering like you
Hard to believe I know but sadly it is true.
You CAN beat depression so start from today
Knowing others are there to help support you alway.
Take deep breaths, hold your head up high, raise a smile
Depression will panic and run away, mile after mile
Choose positive thoughts, have hope, peace and faith
This will help ward off depression and WILL keep you safe
Barbara Brewin © 2009
Your love whistled through my heart
Swung through my leaves
Danced with my soul,
And as we touched
Our skin quivered
Tears were shed
As hands of Zues
Which so tenderly caressed my every need
Breathlessness swept over my body,
You my master
The chief of my embodiment
You captivate my every move
And spread words of song a cross my bounty,
My everything you,
Darkness lit by the wonder streaming from your eyes.
You brought me to new heights,
Flew me upon the Alps,
Graced snowflakes upon my lips,
Traveled through my soul
And filled me with your love
The love none other could have gave
And you gave unto me.
You my morning
My day
By night I see your face as I close to sleep
Dreams wash through me
Wonders of the beauty which lay ahead
None other than your name plagues my thoughts
An entranced beauty
A touch of God and tong of angels
Your heavenly word rings aloud
Washing over me
You are my strength
My weakness which entangles me
A web of a future tied to a string of matrimony
Ignighting a flame
So dormantly spent laid amongst tattered sheets
And tear stained pillow tops
Your praise lingers through me
Ringing aloud the wonder of you
A wisperer you are
So galently arousing me
Intrigued a wanton spirit bounding back inside of me
As you stand before me
A shadowed figure
Streaming a moon lit future
Spread amongst the stars
The heavens shine before us
Spirits rise
As we fall into another
An embrace shaking the grounds
Heavens pour out cries
As we surrender
Through the gentle breeze and tempered storm
I find peace in your arms
Where hell surrounds us
I see grace in your presence
Silenced in your weathered ways
A fellowship of understanding showers me
As you clasp your hands upon my face
I'm surrounded by the awe settled in you.
This is me raping the red of an apple,
the breathy sweetness of the flesh underneath,
a slab of clean, radiant cold filling my mouth.
I can feel it under my teeth,
your skin,
like the calm of an apple.
This is the tip-toe edge of a knife
slipping through the base of my skull,
and the blooming sickness of blood
curling up in my throat, as cold
and as calm as metal,
a tide against my tongue,
the breaking of waves against gritted teeth.
An untamed, hot wind like wanting.
I am red like the sun
snapping the softness of the shadows, the
patience of the moon and her lazy circles,
dripping white perfume and
jazz –silver and cold onto the hungry earth.
I am mournful, desperation,
fingers pressed on parted lips
and hollow strings –the soft, clear scent of wood,
the cool reality of it unfolded beneath my palm,
lithe as skin.
This is me waiting for you
because empty has overtaken
my marrow, scooped out fistfuls of organs
and flung them across the stars.
I have nothing, so I set it on fire,
and it burns
and it burns to nothing.
And this is me reducing myself to ashes,
wrapping my arms around my chest to
count the beats,
wishing they wouldn’t skip
so
fast.
notes spilling into
the white spaces where the shape of you
waits empty.
This is me conducting music in the rain,
your name beating at the windshield,
sliding silky down my thighs.
This is me flooding across the floor,
the heaviness of the inhale before syllables –
an ocean staining my reason –
You: beautiful, intangible, surreal
as I reach for the
bright spots of the moon,
the unbroken crimson of an apple,
the wet indigo of the sky.
A cold, pregnant emptiness curving,
the breathlessness of the sea
misted white over my fingertips.
'I can't breathe I can't breathe '
'Please take your knee off my neck I can't breathe'
'My stomach hurts, my neck hurts I can't breathe'
Were his last words 'I can't breathe'
Hundreds of years my ancestors suffered to build this land,
Stripped off their dignity and chained on a hand,
They were used as a shield in your war for Independence,
Though in pain and sorrow they were still resilient.
We never asked for much,;just let us be.
Yet you restrict even the air so that I can't breathe.
You say here is a Free World that was built on the back of my people,
Taken from our homes, crippling our land cripple.
Each and every day we get over taxed
Halted and shot by police when trying to ask
Rights to all but ours are restricted,
Because of the color of my skin my kind are being hunted,
You despise my skin color and cherish my heritage,
Making millions out of my artifacts in your museum, and I can't even pay the mortgage,
I am paying debt I never owed just because of my skin color
Working harder than you and yet you call me idler.
Your put you knee in my neck, deprived me of air,
What crime could I ever committed that such could be deemed fair?
Yet you get fired but still get a life to live,
And that your system call 'fair' and forced my kind to believe it's ' fear' for Me.
I'm not asking for more just a little air !
My hands chained behind my back what else could have caused you to fear Me, for fairness'sake?
'He is resisting arrest' you say
Yet my hands chained behind my back in the cruelest and crudest of ways.
Being black is a crime in America !
You get arrested and shot for driving a fanciful car,
Now I am not even allowed to breathe,
I ponder in fear, all I see is death through breathlessness! ' I can't breathe!'
The air is as crisp as the night is dark;
Star light travels millennia to finally hit its mark.
The scents astound me pungent as they hit my nose.
From the ground, the air, the trees they nimbly arose.
Everything from dead leaves to the spirit of rain
Remind me again and again of survival and pain.
I am running with wolves to infinity and back;
In panting breathlessness, I merge with the pack.
Fidelity and solace remain forever the enduring traits;
They are there at my side, every one of my mates.
We run with nature and trusting nature we abide;
Our noble mother reveals all with nothing to hide.
The wind gives us insight with a simple story to tell;
The frigid cold chills the heart within winter’s spell.
I flee lightly over broken ground on roughened paws;
I tear the living flesh of sheep and deer with fierce jaws.
My winter coat covers me from my ears to my claws;
Only my eyes are uncovered to witness everything I saw.
Nothing can stop the hunt, we are the eagles of the land;
Nothing prevents our attacking prey without reprimand.
There’s more, I am not done, we have survival to ensure;
To be true to our nature, and thru life’s challenges to endure.
I am one with the pack and my comrades run at my side;
We breathe the air and drink the rain to fortify our hide.
Nothing can stop us now and we are surging into the wind;
In pursuit, we focus on our frightened prey soon to be skinned.
When suddenly, I slip off the edge and into the morning wake up;
Lost irretrievable in a dream that drained away like an empty cup.
Once again in the world alone, dressed in human flesh and alive,
To remember the wind, the air, the sheer animal desire to survive.