Funny Free Verse Poems

You laughed too hard in 1996/
Thought I'd trip and stay down for kicks/
But I climbed back up, twice the size/
Now I shred, watch the sparks...

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You collect old bottle caps 
and belly button lint. 
I don't find you strange; 
I find you endearing. 

And maybe it's because 
we're both locked...

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Sometimes he’s next to me. Close enough that the air feels different, like something charged is sitting between us. My stomach does that thing, tightens,...

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Holy Slime of Spring™
Seasonal Epic -- Limited Drop

A divine ooze imbued with chaotic Easter energy.
Hand-delivered by a suspiciously muscular bunny and sealed in a glitter...

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Escaping this bubble
An impossible dream 
Like counting every drop of water
That swims through the sea

All hope is lost here
All sense of time
I drown in my...

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Speaking love
By Reggie
As I think of you, my mind begins to unbind,
and my nerves start to level and calm.
As you come to grasp my heart,...

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do you think it’s funny
hilarious, haha, a joke

how a billionaire’s money
is enough to make him an expert

on how to put his hands 
around your throat...

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I cut my finger 
to the bone 
and cauterized the 
wound with 
melted chocolate. 

I rather enjoy 
the taste of 
pain. 
...

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Algebra sheet limp beneath my elbow,
mocking me in equations I’ll never understand.
I open Google Classroom like a coffin.
The deadlines stack up
in a mound of unmarked...

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My mouth loves ice, it's all so nice, 
I'd hunt it down at any price. 
I'd suck it until my gums go numb, 
Chew on...

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TimeSteep™ Tea Leaves
Brew your past. Sip your future. Choke on your destiny.

Tired of basic herbal blends that just soothe your throat?
Want a cup that knows...

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MysticMisfits™ Return Policy
(Cursed Edition)
--for when you regret your haunted impulse buys but the universe has other plans.
Please read carefully. Some conditions may apply to your...

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MysticMisfits™ Staff Directory

Staff Spotlight:The WanderPoet
Position: Ephemeral Verse Consultant
Clock-in Time: Unknown
Clock-out Time: Immediately After You Notice Him

You won’t see him arrive.
You might catch a glimpse--
a flicker...

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Presenting...

LipHex™ Balm
The kiss that lingers… like a spell.

Are your kisses lacking oomph?
Need to make a statement that’s equal parts soft and sinister?

Introducing LipHex™ Balm--
infused with...

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How to Find the Shop
A whispered map for the bold, the broken, and the slightly curious.

--A cryptic guide for those who seek the odd, the...

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