My mother was catatonic, symphonic chronic is what I smoke.
Livinin it bougie, choosin floosies no uzis and then I choke.
You can be me, insane cerebral cortex is
just what I feel.
Living pervy swerving Lexus and hexes to get the deal!
I'm the homosexual, heterosexual, suicidal bloke.
I was adopted by white family and to them I'm just a joke.
They are white supremacist hollow and they drink a racist coke.
And they bought themselves a black kid, broke me down and built a moat.
I'm the illest of the illest, you the illest with a pill.
Donate plasma with no athesma, drain so much I start to spill!
Got the game on lock with fakers who found out that words can kill.
Better bump this on speakers like I invented free will!
Spendin money by the twenties gettin hundies by the bill..
And I'll never stand for the flag so you coonies can in chill!
If my words had a flavor I'm sure I'd be spicy dill.
Bringing back the old school freshness like my name is Uncle Phil!
They say to stop flailing because it’s annoying.
So my movements slow down…
Still flailing-
But in slow motion.
Still speaking…
Even though they can’t seem to understand.
Eventually swaying gently.
Like a porch swing.
Or like seaweed at the bottom of a lake.
Eventually running out of words.
As if I had said every word and idea in the universe.
And maybe I had…
But I will never remember.
And they will never admit it anyway.
I kneel, bow, and make myself into
A rock to ask God,
King of the Universe,
Give me the amateur.
Hear my cries, Lord our God,
And give me him.
I plead, beg, and erode
My rough edges;
Almighty One,
I want this one to be terminal.
Please, God, place the
Obsidian in the core of my palm.
Let this strangeness of love
Feel familiar, once more.
King of my Universe,
Please let him become familiar.
Almighty One,
I swear I will get it right this time.
Consequently Catatonic
Over Dosed On Emotional Anesthetic
Pretending All Is Copacetic
Can Not Be Seen As Pathetic
It's Better This Way
With Nothing To Say
At The End Of Another Peaceful Day
Self Destructive Disorders
Chaos Is Order
Seemingly Older
Growing Colder and Colder
Over Looked And Disregarded
Sinful Secrets Hide How It Started
Tears Are For The Broken Hearted
Swallowing Devistation
To Late For Salvation
Anxiety And Anticipation
Waiting On Death With No Patience
Simply Suffering In Silence
Spreading Nothing But Kindness
Walking Contradiction And Defiance
Sudden eclipses blare
Thoughtlessness…thrombosis…
The only room opens and snakes drip
From broken windows as leaves hiss
Ghosts try to form bodies…turning…
Into the silent agony of madness shuffling
Into the wordless expression of immensity
Into the vivid darkness of coma black…
staring at the wall
at nothing in the air
staring without a word
at thoughts barely there
staring while my stomach
swallows up my heart
staring so I don't move
and startle up my thoughts
staring to protect myself
from your razor words
clawing up my rib cage
burning in my nerves
staring to slow the rat race
of conversations on the loose
staring at mindless accusations
tightening up my noose
staring to save my body
from shaking fits non stop
staring so that time goes by
without a second thought
staring so I don't feel
any stabbing pain for you
staring so I remember
what you put me through
staring so everyone around me
assumes that I'm ok
staring so I don't look
like another wreck today
staring so I don't analyse
how complex "simple" can be
staring so I don't forget
who I am to me.